Pokhara, March 12, 2008
I left Masum three days ago. It seems like it has been months. Maybe I have only partially realized that Sunday was the final goodbye, or maybe I was prepared, but I'm shocked at how few tears I've cried. Maybe we've already had too many "final" goodbyes to believe that was really it... I feel lonely and am thankful that so far I've been able to surround myself with people. I guess after I say goodbye to Raju, Gom and Pratit, maybe everything will sink in.
I've though I'm sad and heartbroken, and feeling cheated, some part of me knows that it is time to move on. The relationship I had with Masum would have never worked in the real world. A world where we were married and had kids, jobs (that we got paid for), responsibilities. In this situation, it's hard to tell which world was real and which world was a fantasy. What a surreal life I've been living...
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