The Fun of the American Forces Network

For those of you who are not familiar with the AFN, it is the media network owned and operated by the US government (the Pentagon, I believe is actually in charge) to provide at-home-like media services to American military folk who are stationed abroad. In Korea, it is a welcome (and scary) part of my cable package as it carries CNN, American movies and sitcoms as well as a rare treat: The State of the Union Address.

Did any of you watch what appeared to be a somewhat defeated George W Bush deliver what was possibly the least arrogant speech in his State of the Union history (which we all know has been far too long)? I did... But you know, these speeches just seem silly to me because it, in fact, did not address the state of the union, but gave rather vague outlines for what we might expect from him this coming year, which I have to say, doesn't sound like a whole lot. If he had really given a state of the Union, it might have sounded like this:

Yes, America, it is true. We are losing the war in Iraq. I have no idea what is going on there, but damn, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. And, by the way, I have no idea how to get us out of there. But this is the global war on terror, so we have to keep looking like we are doing something.

On the economy: Finally, success! We have economic success! Our stock market has reached all time highs and rich people like myself are richer than ever! And I have no idea how people who aren't rich are fairing. Any idea out there? Congressmen? Senators? No? oh well, you are all rich, too.

Health Care: Simply unattainable for the masses, so just give up, okay?!

Energy: We are too dependent of foreign oil (well, last time I checked we are too dependent on ALL oil, but anyway) and we need to invest in renewable technologies. Okay, George got that one right, but somehow when this actually translates in policy, I hardly think it will be meaningful. And George, would it really kill you to say "Global Warming"? I mean really, enough with the "global climate change" euphemism. Everybody knows we have global warming...

So we all know that W is just full of a lot of hooey. So back to the AFN... Well, wouldn't it be just like the AFN to cut off Barak Obama in the middle of his critique of the Iraq policy and change over to "A Guiding Light"?


More reasons why the AFN is frighteningly entertaining:

• Pubic Service announcements: Low budget and poorly made,they usually expound the obvious like: It is against the law to traffic humans. Or, turn on your lights at night so you can see when you are driving. If one had to estimate the collective intelligence of the military based on these announcements, I would say they are, on average, as intelligent as 7 year olds.
• Pentagon News Round Up: Either entirely pointless (like the human interest story I recently saw about the commander who always checks his humvee's mechanics before driving it) or amazingly biased (like the story about how we won the war in Iraq, No, REALLY, they are still saying that). I have yet to learn anything that is accurate or useful from watching the Pentagon's news service.
• Why We Serve: Kind of cute, and extremely low budget, you almost never hear the real answer of, "well, I'm poor and there were no job opportunities and I can't afford an education, so it was either the military or a life of crime." Hey, I know people also join because they want to "serve their country", but come on, the economic reality of these soldiers' lives far outstrips any civic duty that most Americans feel. I mean, we don't even vote, do you really think we are going to willingly fight a war?? Either that or we have some pretty screwy ideas about what civic duty means.
• This Day in History: another low budget segment that offers us glimpses into the invention of the Patriot missile and its exemplary use in the first Gulf War; the glorified success of Operation so and so; W's first inaugural address; and other events of military import.

If I was to say, watch the AFN as my only source of news, I might, just might, support W. A gal is hard-pressed to find any critique of the Bush administration even though there are plenty of people in the armed services who are disappointed, pissed off and all around fed-up with Iraq and Afghanistan (which is also a disaster that no one is making the W administration answer to). It is obvious by the amount of dissent there is in the military that most people are really thinking, evaluating and criticizing... So my question is, why doesn't the media? The AFN media, or the rest of the media for that matter??

So here's to the AFN for providing some comic relief (in a slightly less offensive way than say Rush Limbaugh)... just don't take it too seriously.

And here's to a GWB who is eating some much needed humble pie. Don't that taste good Georgey? Don't it?