*this is from a letter I wrote to Masum not so long ago
Really I don't know why I'm writing to you now. I can't sleep. I feel sad. And lonely. And totally awake. But I guess I wanted to tell you something.
Even though I can't understand the way that your family is behaving, this whole situation has in some strange way really helped me understand my childhood. More specifically, it has helped me understand the kinds of choices that my father, and my mother to some extent, had to make. Choosing between love, family, happiness and children is never easy. It seems like those things shouldn't be in opposition to one another, but all too often, they are. In fact, in a lot of cases, like in my family, the choices are quite impossible. When I was a child, my father chose his happiness and hoped that his children would understand. And well, we didn't. We didn't understand at all. We felt abandoned and alone and I grew up mostly feeling like I didn't have a father. My father's decision was a little more complicated than that and he made a lot of mistakes, but now I see that there was probably nothing that he could have done to make me happy or to make feel like I was still important to him.
I guess what I mean is that children don't really have the ability to accept the complexity of the decisions that adults make. And that while I'm sorry about the fact that you have to give up love, that in the end, Neeha will really respect you for it. I hope that one day you can have a frank conversation with Neeha about your relationship with me and how we came to be in Korea. And I hope she can appreciate the sacrifice you made so that you can get to know her. I hope she can find out about the man that I knew when he was here because it would be a shame for her to miss out on that person.
I also hope that when Neeha falls in love, you will do all you can to support her decision, whatever it is. Even if you think it's the wrong decision. Just because you and your wife were cheated, doesn't mean that she should be, too. So please, just try to accept it. Because even though love makes us stupid, it also makes us happy, in a miserable sort of way. And everyone deserves a chance. Don't judge your daughter the way that your family has judged you. If you did that, our relationship would really be a wasted experience.
And I'm sure that my father is thanking you right now. Because for the first time, I really feel like I can forgive him for all the mistakes he made when I was a child. For the first time, I feel like I can understand what he was up against. So even though we aren't together anymore, maybe we have both managed to salvage a relationship- strangely me with my father and you with your daughter...I guess we should be thankful for that.
I can't tell you how much it breaks my heart to try and accept this situation. Just when I think I'm doing okay, I get swept up in a torrent of emotion and when that happens, I know that I just have to ride it out. I miss you terribly. And for some stupid reason, I still hold onto the glimmer of hope that something in this situation will change. But don't worry, I don't have any expectation that it will, and I'm doing my best to put us behind me, no matter how much I don't like it.
It just feels so unfair because before you, I could never imagine actually trying to spend my life with a person. And now I just can't imagine trying to live without you. I'm not sure how to fill the emptiness that I feel now that you're no longer a part of my life. I can't imagine finding another person who could take your place. Maybe I'm just destined to be a lonely wanderer forever.
Anyway, I hope your beautiful daughter is helping to fill the void in your life. At least you have her to come home to everyday....
As always, your jaan
Showing posts with label Illegal Immigrant Love Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Illegal Immigrant Love Story. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I've been getting over it
I'm back in Korea. I've been back for nearly a month.
Well, the drama that has been my life for the last 2 years is nearly over. When I came back to Korea, I learned that Masum, through some feat of emotional blackmail on the part of his family, decided that he couldn't divorce his wife because he would lose not only his daughter, but his whole family. I'm totally at loss. I just can't understand the situation and my only consolation is that he sounds absolutely miserable. Maybe that sounds awful for me to say, but really, my heart is totally broken and if I thought he was actually happy with the situation, I would really be questioning why I ever tried sticking with him in the first place. I guess I'm questioning that anyway, but you know, him being miserable makes the question a little easier for me to answer.
I guess I was really angry at him. But now I just feel really sad. I'm sad because his family didn't even try to understand. They don't seem to care about his happiness at all; all that matters is his obligation to his family. I feel angry that I remain so powerless in the situation and that no amount love makes a difference. Culture and family are forces that love just can't compete with in this situation. I mean even the Bangladeshi friends who know me said that he should ditch me for his wife and do whatever his mother told him to do.
I feel totally pathetic because I'm still holding onto some lingering hope that he'll change his mind and tell his family to get over it. And that after he does that, his family will eventually forgive him and at least accept the situation even if they don't like it. But I know deep down that it'll never happen and it's a waste of time to fantasize about being with him again. But it's just so hard because it wasn't so long ago that we were talking about marriage and babies and where we'd want to live. He asked me to help him figure out how he could get a visa and a job in another country, and I did that. I had a plan. Actually I had lots of plans, all he had to do was divorce his wife.
And now I'm just trying to figure out what to do with myself. I've spent so much time over the last two years making plans that include Masum that now I feel a little bit overwhelmed with the fact that the world is wide open and that he isn't part of the plan anymore. Honestly, I don't even want to think about that reality, but that's what it is now. I've been falling apart for the last month and now I'm trying to put the pieces back together, but I don't even know where to begin.
I only have a month left in Korea. I bought my plane ticket outta here last week and that has done a lot for my mental state. And I didn't just buy any ticket. I'm going to Nepal for a month before I return to America because frankly the thought of returning to Vermont in the dead of winter with no job and nothing to do is depressing.
Add to that the fact that I have a lot of anxiety about finding work in Vermont in the first place because low wage jobs and boredom is kind of what drove me to Korea. I feel really strange about the prospect of returning to America "forever". I guess that for the last few years, I've pictured myself living outside of the US sort of indefinitely and the prospect of forever in any place makes me feel a little antsy. Especially without Masum. I guess for the last few years I've always just considered my home to be wherever he is, whether that's Bangladesh, or somewhere in the US or even in Cuba or South America... And now, well, home seems to be Vermont whether I like it or not.
And it's not that I don't like it, it's just that, well, I haven't really considered the fact that I would be living there again. And while I'm really happy and excited to be surrounded by family and friends again, I'm really depressed about the fact that I'm alone and that the only person that I've ever really thought I would want to spend my life with won't be there to share it with me.
God, I really miss him. He's been gone for more than two months and I've thrown everything of his out of the house, but I still feel his absence constantly...
but, I guess I'm getting over it. I hope.
Life is so unfair.
Well, the drama that has been my life for the last 2 years is nearly over. When I came back to Korea, I learned that Masum, through some feat of emotional blackmail on the part of his family, decided that he couldn't divorce his wife because he would lose not only his daughter, but his whole family. I'm totally at loss. I just can't understand the situation and my only consolation is that he sounds absolutely miserable. Maybe that sounds awful for me to say, but really, my heart is totally broken and if I thought he was actually happy with the situation, I would really be questioning why I ever tried sticking with him in the first place. I guess I'm questioning that anyway, but you know, him being miserable makes the question a little easier for me to answer.
I guess I was really angry at him. But now I just feel really sad. I'm sad because his family didn't even try to understand. They don't seem to care about his happiness at all; all that matters is his obligation to his family. I feel angry that I remain so powerless in the situation and that no amount love makes a difference. Culture and family are forces that love just can't compete with in this situation. I mean even the Bangladeshi friends who know me said that he should ditch me for his wife and do whatever his mother told him to do.
I feel totally pathetic because I'm still holding onto some lingering hope that he'll change his mind and tell his family to get over it. And that after he does that, his family will eventually forgive him and at least accept the situation even if they don't like it. But I know deep down that it'll never happen and it's a waste of time to fantasize about being with him again. But it's just so hard because it wasn't so long ago that we were talking about marriage and babies and where we'd want to live. He asked me to help him figure out how he could get a visa and a job in another country, and I did that. I had a plan. Actually I had lots of plans, all he had to do was divorce his wife.
And now I'm just trying to figure out what to do with myself. I've spent so much time over the last two years making plans that include Masum that now I feel a little bit overwhelmed with the fact that the world is wide open and that he isn't part of the plan anymore. Honestly, I don't even want to think about that reality, but that's what it is now. I've been falling apart for the last month and now I'm trying to put the pieces back together, but I don't even know where to begin.
I only have a month left in Korea. I bought my plane ticket outta here last week and that has done a lot for my mental state. And I didn't just buy any ticket. I'm going to Nepal for a month before I return to America because frankly the thought of returning to Vermont in the dead of winter with no job and nothing to do is depressing.
Add to that the fact that I have a lot of anxiety about finding work in Vermont in the first place because low wage jobs and boredom is kind of what drove me to Korea. I feel really strange about the prospect of returning to America "forever". I guess that for the last few years, I've pictured myself living outside of the US sort of indefinitely and the prospect of forever in any place makes me feel a little antsy. Especially without Masum. I guess for the last few years I've always just considered my home to be wherever he is, whether that's Bangladesh, or somewhere in the US or even in Cuba or South America... And now, well, home seems to be Vermont whether I like it or not.
And it's not that I don't like it, it's just that, well, I haven't really considered the fact that I would be living there again. And while I'm really happy and excited to be surrounded by family and friends again, I'm really depressed about the fact that I'm alone and that the only person that I've ever really thought I would want to spend my life with won't be there to share it with me.
God, I really miss him. He's been gone for more than two months and I've thrown everything of his out of the house, but I still feel his absence constantly...
but, I guess I'm getting over it. I hope.
Life is so unfair.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Deported
Masum was deported this morning. No phone calls. Nothing. I still haven't heard from him, I just know that he's not in jail anymore. Hopefully I'll get a call from him soon.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Out of Hope
So today the High Court officially refused to hear the appeal for Masum, Kajiman and Raju's release. Which means we are pretty much out of legal avenues to fight for their release. I heard from a Nepalese friend today that Raju and Kajiman have both been cleared by the Nepalese embassy for travel and it looks like they will probably be gone by tomorrow. Masum's situation is still unclear. He spoke to Bangladeshi embassy officials today and they haven't issued papers for him yet, although that could also happen tomorrow. There is just isn't a basis for them to say no any longer.
Unfortunately they will all probably just disappear without being able to make any phone calls, so we won't know that they are gone for sure until they find phones in whatever countries they have lay-overs in.
It's still hard for me to believe that I might not ever see Masum again. It really pisses me off that our last moments together were in a jail visitation room with glass and steel between us. I'm still really afraid about what will happen to him when he arrives in Bangladesh and if it's bad, I wonder how I'll ever find out about it. It's the uncertainty of everything that is hard. And hoping for anything to actually work out is scary.
Unfortunately they will all probably just disappear without being able to make any phone calls, so we won't know that they are gone for sure until they find phones in whatever countries they have lay-overs in.
It's still hard for me to believe that I might not ever see Masum again. It really pisses me off that our last moments together were in a jail visitation room with glass and steel between us. I'm still really afraid about what will happen to him when he arrives in Bangladesh and if it's bad, I wonder how I'll ever find out about it. It's the uncertainty of everything that is hard. And hoping for anything to actually work out is scary.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Paranoia? Not if they are really out to get you!
So I'm feeling extremely paranoid these days. I have dreams about police knocking down my door. I have a tendency to look around on the subway and buses to see if anyone might be following me. I watch anyone with radios (the kind you can talk on) like a hawk even if they don't look like cops. And speaking of cops, there about a million of them on my street and and I stare them down and watch their every movement as I walk down the street.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Masum was arrested right outside our front door. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the Korean government must know absolutely everything about my life. Maybe it's due to the fact that Masum has been interrogated about me two times in less than a week. Yes. Two times. Less than a week.
So the first time wasn't really an interrogation. The guards at the Cheongju prison were prying in a rather light way about who I am. And maybe that was nothing, but they asked an awful lot of personal questions about me. I should clarify. They asked Masum an awful lot of questions about his relationship to me, how we met, what I do... Masum didn't really answer any of the questions and joked it off.
But yesterday, there was an official interrogation which lasted for about three hours. Government officials, probably from the Ministry of Justice (although they never clearly identified themselves), came to the jail to "interview" all of the MTU officials. Obviously, I was not the only thing they asked about. But most of the questions were rather personal in nature. And a good deal of the questions were about me: What is my involvement in MTU? When did I meet Masum? How long did we live together? Where do I work? Whom do I consort with? But of course, they must know the answers to many of those questions already. My visa is tied to my work place- since I am legal here, they would have to be really stupid to not know where I work and live. And they followed Masum around for a while so of course they know he lived with me... Again, he refused to answer any those questions.
Masum said that the tone wasn't actually threatening, although I have to tell you, I feel quite threatened. Why are they asking questions about me? Am I in some sort of political danger now because of my associations? When I come back from my Christmas vacation in America, are they going to let me into the country again? Are they going to do something weird like fine me and revoke my visa (although I don't know how they could actually legally do that as I haven't broken any law).
I know this is paranoia. Really, I know that. But why do they have to go and be like that? I'm not doing anything to them so they should just leave me out of it. But if they want to fuck with me, I say bring it because I'm all kind of ready to get up in their face with my annoying, obnoxious American privilege. It's bad enough that my boyfriend is a political prisoner (really, Amnesty International designated Masum, Raju and Kajiman prisoners of conscience a couple of weeks ago), but they really don't want to pick a fight with me, too... I know, I know. It's just paranoia.
But is it??
(I should add that they tone of the "interview" may have been more threatening to Raju(VP) and Kajiman (president). Masum said that they both looked broken and defeated when they finished their interrogations, although he hasn't really had time to talk to either of them about it. (They are roomed separately.) I suggested that they might file human rights abuses, but Masum said he wants to talk to Raju and Kajiman to see how they are holding up....)
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Masum was arrested right outside our front door. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the Korean government must know absolutely everything about my life. Maybe it's due to the fact that Masum has been interrogated about me two times in less than a week. Yes. Two times. Less than a week.
So the first time wasn't really an interrogation. The guards at the Cheongju prison were prying in a rather light way about who I am. And maybe that was nothing, but they asked an awful lot of personal questions about me. I should clarify. They asked Masum an awful lot of questions about his relationship to me, how we met, what I do... Masum didn't really answer any of the questions and joked it off.
But yesterday, there was an official interrogation which lasted for about three hours. Government officials, probably from the Ministry of Justice (although they never clearly identified themselves), came to the jail to "interview" all of the MTU officials. Obviously, I was not the only thing they asked about. But most of the questions were rather personal in nature. And a good deal of the questions were about me: What is my involvement in MTU? When did I meet Masum? How long did we live together? Where do I work? Whom do I consort with? But of course, they must know the answers to many of those questions already. My visa is tied to my work place- since I am legal here, they would have to be really stupid to not know where I work and live. And they followed Masum around for a while so of course they know he lived with me... Again, he refused to answer any those questions.
Masum said that the tone wasn't actually threatening, although I have to tell you, I feel quite threatened. Why are they asking questions about me? Am I in some sort of political danger now because of my associations? When I come back from my Christmas vacation in America, are they going to let me into the country again? Are they going to do something weird like fine me and revoke my visa (although I don't know how they could actually legally do that as I haven't broken any law).
I know this is paranoia. Really, I know that. But why do they have to go and be like that? I'm not doing anything to them so they should just leave me out of it. But if they want to fuck with me, I say bring it because I'm all kind of ready to get up in their face with my annoying, obnoxious American privilege. It's bad enough that my boyfriend is a political prisoner (really, Amnesty International designated Masum, Raju and Kajiman prisoners of conscience a couple of weeks ago), but they really don't want to pick a fight with me, too... I know, I know. It's just paranoia.
But is it??
(I should add that they tone of the "interview" may have been more threatening to Raju(VP) and Kajiman (president). Masum said that they both looked broken and defeated when they finished their interrogations, although he hasn't really had time to talk to either of them about it. (They are roomed separately.) I suggested that they might file human rights abuses, but Masum said he wants to talk to Raju and Kajiman to see how they are holding up....)
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Amnesty International Prisoner of Conscience
A.I. has designated Masum, Raju and Kajiman prisoners of conscience. You can read about them here.
They are doing okay, but it is still unclear how long they'll be in jail. I'll be going back to Cheongju tomorrow night for a Saturday morning visit.
They are doing okay, but it is still unclear how long they'll be in jail. I'll be going back to Cheongju tomorrow night for a Saturday morning visit.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone
Yesterday I was able to see Masum (his name is all over the place- no point in using a pseudonym anymore) at the Cheongju Detention Center. We had about 30 minutes together, which I shared with 4 of my closest Korean friends, and he shared with the president and vice-president of the union. That's a lot of people in room for only 30 minutes of face time. But of course, we weren't all in the same room because he and the other two guys were separated from us by metal bars that had a thick layer of glass on either side.
Honestly, Masum looked better yesterday than I've seen him looking in months. When we first met, there was something about him that always stuck with me- the sparkle in his eyes, his mischievous grin, his ability laugh at himself in any situation, his almost child-like open and warm heart. But the last year has been really hard on both of us. The gleam was gone from his eyes, his energy sapped by crisis after crisis, his playful spirit had withered. But yesterday even though he was sitting in a stupid looking jail track suit behind bars and glass, he could still charm the pants off of everyone in the room. The old Masum was back. And I fell in love with him all over again.
It seems that everyone from MTU is being treated really well in jail. They have visitors everyday, decent food, warm clothes, access to a phone, television... They all joked about feeling like they were on vacation, seemed cheerful, maybe even relaxed. Masum and Raju, true to both of their personal styles, have made friends with almost everyone they come into contact with, including many of the guards who are young guys fulfulling the Korean government's military service requirements.
When I talked to Masum on the phone today, however, the mood seemed to change. He said that everyone feels tense because it seems that the government is going to try and forcibly deport them, maybe without any notice to friends or loved ones here in Korea. I don't know exactly how it works, but it seems as though the Korean government is trying to arrange consent from the Bangladeshi and Nepalese embassies, even if they don't have passports, personal belongings or money to buy a plane ticket. It seems possible now that at least two of them could be gone as soon as Wednesday, if not the end of the week.
Masum continues to be very worried about what will happen to him when he arrives in Bangladesh. His personal situation aside, there is a chance that the Korean government will encourage the kind of political harassment that they did to Anwar (the first MTU president who was in jail for more than a year in Korea) when he went home last August. Anwar was detained in Singapore by immigration authorities for questioning (even though he only had a layover there) and then when he arrived in Bangladesh, he was jailed for more than 24 hours and then put on probation for participating in activities abroad that undermine the Bangladeshi state. Anwar has had a few run-ins with Bangladeshi authorities since his return, and only now does it seem that his life is returning to normal. Add to that the fact that most of the MTU activists who have returned to Bangladesh have been stripped of their passports and are not allowed to travel abroad. Which for us, makes for a nearly impossible situation.
So today I am charged with the duty of trying to pack Masum's bag to take home. He really doesn't have that much stuff, but I have no idea what he wants as he hasn't made any specific requests about personal effects. I'm really having trouble doing it. As I started cleaning out the closet, the reality of him not being here with me anymore really started to sink in. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it, even though it has to be done today. It's hard to see his stuff laying around our house, but I think it'll be even harder with his stuff gone. I don't want to erase the evidence of our life here together. Especially because Masum has been one of the defining parts of my life in Korea. He was one of the first people I met here, it was he introduced me to most of the people that I know. With exception to my work, he has been a part of nearly everything and every relationship I have here.
I'm trying to be more positive about what will happen when Masum goes back to Bangladesh. I have no idea what the cultural or political reality is there, but some Bangladeshi friends have let on that things may not be as serious as we once thought. There is nothing I can do but hope that Mahbub is right, that his personal situation has been exaggerated by emotion and is nothing more than a threat. I'm afraid of hoping too much, but for now it's better than thinking about the fact that we may never see each other again.
In the meantime, on Masum's request, I'm researching the possibilities for emigrating to another country that will be activist-exile-friendly. I don't know if he would be eligible for any kind of refugee status, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to look into the possibility. There has got to be some country that will take us-- poor, tired and weary...
Cuba, anyone?
Honestly, Masum looked better yesterday than I've seen him looking in months. When we first met, there was something about him that always stuck with me- the sparkle in his eyes, his mischievous grin, his ability laugh at himself in any situation, his almost child-like open and warm heart. But the last year has been really hard on both of us. The gleam was gone from his eyes, his energy sapped by crisis after crisis, his playful spirit had withered. But yesterday even though he was sitting in a stupid looking jail track suit behind bars and glass, he could still charm the pants off of everyone in the room. The old Masum was back. And I fell in love with him all over again.
It seems that everyone from MTU is being treated really well in jail. They have visitors everyday, decent food, warm clothes, access to a phone, television... They all joked about feeling like they were on vacation, seemed cheerful, maybe even relaxed. Masum and Raju, true to both of their personal styles, have made friends with almost everyone they come into contact with, including many of the guards who are young guys fulfulling the Korean government's military service requirements.
When I talked to Masum on the phone today, however, the mood seemed to change. He said that everyone feels tense because it seems that the government is going to try and forcibly deport them, maybe without any notice to friends or loved ones here in Korea. I don't know exactly how it works, but it seems as though the Korean government is trying to arrange consent from the Bangladeshi and Nepalese embassies, even if they don't have passports, personal belongings or money to buy a plane ticket. It seems possible now that at least two of them could be gone as soon as Wednesday, if not the end of the week.
Masum continues to be very worried about what will happen to him when he arrives in Bangladesh. His personal situation aside, there is a chance that the Korean government will encourage the kind of political harassment that they did to Anwar (the first MTU president who was in jail for more than a year in Korea) when he went home last August. Anwar was detained in Singapore by immigration authorities for questioning (even though he only had a layover there) and then when he arrived in Bangladesh, he was jailed for more than 24 hours and then put on probation for participating in activities abroad that undermine the Bangladeshi state. Anwar has had a few run-ins with Bangladeshi authorities since his return, and only now does it seem that his life is returning to normal. Add to that the fact that most of the MTU activists who have returned to Bangladesh have been stripped of their passports and are not allowed to travel abroad. Which for us, makes for a nearly impossible situation.
So today I am charged with the duty of trying to pack Masum's bag to take home. He really doesn't have that much stuff, but I have no idea what he wants as he hasn't made any specific requests about personal effects. I'm really having trouble doing it. As I started cleaning out the closet, the reality of him not being here with me anymore really started to sink in. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it, even though it has to be done today. It's hard to see his stuff laying around our house, but I think it'll be even harder with his stuff gone. I don't want to erase the evidence of our life here together. Especially because Masum has been one of the defining parts of my life in Korea. He was one of the first people I met here, it was he introduced me to most of the people that I know. With exception to my work, he has been a part of nearly everything and every relationship I have here.
I'm trying to be more positive about what will happen when Masum goes back to Bangladesh. I have no idea what the cultural or political reality is there, but some Bangladeshi friends have let on that things may not be as serious as we once thought. There is nothing I can do but hope that Mahbub is right, that his personal situation has been exaggerated by emotion and is nothing more than a threat. I'm afraid of hoping too much, but for now it's better than thinking about the fact that we may never see each other again.
In the meantime, on Masum's request, I'm researching the possibilities for emigrating to another country that will be activist-exile-friendly. I don't know if he would be eligible for any kind of refugee status, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to look into the possibility. There has got to be some country that will take us-- poor, tired and weary...
Cuba, anyone?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
if you want to help the GS and our other friends:
This is the official appeal from the Migrants' Trade Union. Scroll to the bottom to find a sample letter and people to send it to. Please be sure to mention Kajiman (president), Raju (vice-president) and Masum (General Secretary/my partner) in any letter you write. They've all been torn away from their lives here in Korea in nearly identical circumstances. Thanks to anyone who decides to send a letter.
************************************************************************************
Urgent Call for International Solidarity
Migrants' Trade Union Leadership Arrested on November 27th.
Stop the Repression against KCTU affiliate Migrants' Trade Union!
Free President Kajiman and other Imprisoned Union Officers!
Stop the Crackdown and Deportations!
1. Background
On the morning of November 27, MTU President Kajiman, Vice President Raju and General Secretary Masum were arrested, in what was clearly a targeted crackdown against the leadership of MTU. We, the KCTU and the Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union call on the international labor and human rights community to do whatever in their power to secure the release of the MTU leadership and end this labor repression against MTU.
At roughly 9:20am on November 27, President Kajiman was leaving his home in order to attend a plan protest in front of Seoul Immigration Office when he was confronted by more than 10 immigration officers who had been hiding in front of his house. The immigration officers restrained the Korean activist with President Kajiman and then encircled the president. After protesting strongly, President Kajiman was eventually arrested, his shoulder hurt in the process.
General Secretary Masum also left his house the morning of the 27 in order to attend the protest in front of Seoul Immigration. As he walked down the street he was passed by four 4 large men who were laughing amongst themselves. He originally did not pay attention to them; however, immediately after roughly 10 immigration officers came up from behind him. He was suddenly surrounded by nearly 20 people and despite protesting was eventually arrested.
At roughly the same time Vice President Raju was confronted by 4 immigration officers in front of the factory where he worked. Upon seeing the vice president, the immigration officers immediately attempted to handcuff him, but failed due to his forceful protest. When Vice President Raju demanded to see the officers' identification cards, they presented them along with a prepared detention order. Despite his protests the vice president was also eventually arrested.
Soon after all three men were sent to a detention center in Cheongju, Northern Choongjeong Provience, south of the capital Seoul.
2. Clear Labor Repression
The simultaneous arrest of three MTU leaders, is a clearly a targeted attack, planed in timing with an intensification of the crackdown against undocumented migrants in South Korea. Since the beginning of August of this year, the government has carried out a mass-scale crackdown in an attempt to reduce the number of undocumented migrants in the country. During this time more than 20 MTU members and officers have been arrested.
By their own admission, despite this crackdown, the numbers have not significantly decreased. Thus, Immigration Control has stepped up the crackdown in the last several weeks. At the same time a proposal is being put forth to revise South Korea's immigration law to make it completely legal to carry out the crackdown continuously without any procedures, such as requiring warrants or detention orders, to protect the human rights of the people it targets. The government has clearly stepped up its repression against MTU leadership at this moment in order to get rid of the force that has been at the forefront of the struggle against the crackdown.
3. Call for Solidarity
We, the Korean Confederation of Trade Unions and affiliate the Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union, make an urgent appeal to you to do whatever you can to support our struggle to free the arrested union leaders and end the barbaric crackdown underway in South Korea.
In particular we are calling for protest letters to the Ministry of Justice, Minister Jung Seong-Jin +82-2-503-3532 or +82-2-500-9128.
Please be sure to send a copy to KCTU by +82-2-2635-1134(fax) or e-mail at inter@kctu.org
We wish you also to know that KCTU and MTU are by no means deterred by this attack. MTU has already selected a temporary leadership and we have already planned protests for the next days. We are currently making further preparations and will mobilize every means possible to win the release of MTU's leaders.
If you have any questions or need more information, please contact:
Lee Changgeun
International Executive Director
Korean Confederation of Trade Unions
Tel.: +82-2-2670-9234 Fax: +82-2-2635-1134
E-mail: inter@kctu.org Web-site : http://kctu.org
2nd Fl. Daeyoung Bld., 139 Youngdeungpo-2-ga, Youngdeungpo-ku, Seoul 150-032 Korea
Liem Wol-san
International Coordinator
Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union(MTU)-affiliated to KCTU
Tel : +82-2--2285-6068
Email: migrant@jinbo.net Website: http://mtu.or.kr
SAMPLE LETTER
Mr. Jung Seong-Jin
Minister of Justice
Seoul, South Korea
Dear Minister Jung,
On the morning of November 27 between 9:00 and 9:30, the president, vice president and general secretary of the KCTU affiliate, Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union, were arrested, each in front of his separate home or workplace. This event has already received international attention. It is clear from the form in which the arrests took place that this was a targeted crackdown meant to silence MTU and the opposition struggle it has lead against the anti-human rights crackdown being carried out against undocumented migrants in South Korea. That this was a meditated act of repression is also apparent from the fact that the arrests came at the same time as the South Korean Immigration Control Office is stepping up its crackdown and a proposal is being put forth the revise immigration law to make it possible to carry out the crackdown continuously with complete disregard for the most basic procedures to protect human rights.
The arrests of the MTU leadership is a gross violation of human rights and a horrendous act of labor repression which targets not only migrant workers and MTU but also the KCTU, the 15 million workers it represents and the international labor community. As such, we will not remain silent.
We therefore forcefully call on you to meet the following demands:
-Immediately release President Kajiman, Vice President Raju and General Secretary Masum!
-Stop the targeted crackdown and labor repression against MTU!
-Stop the crackdown and deportation of undocumented migrant workers!
Signed,
************************************************************************************
Urgent Call for International Solidarity
Migrants' Trade Union Leadership Arrested on November 27th.
Stop the Repression against KCTU affiliate Migrants' Trade Union!
Free President Kajiman and other Imprisoned Union Officers!
Stop the Crackdown and Deportations!
1. Background
On the morning of November 27, MTU President Kajiman, Vice President Raju and General Secretary Masum were arrested, in what was clearly a targeted crackdown against the leadership of MTU. We, the KCTU and the Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union call on the international labor and human rights community to do whatever in their power to secure the release of the MTU leadership and end this labor repression against MTU.
At roughly 9:20am on November 27, President Kajiman was leaving his home in order to attend a plan protest in front of Seoul Immigration Office when he was confronted by more than 10 immigration officers who had been hiding in front of his house. The immigration officers restrained the Korean activist with President Kajiman and then encircled the president. After protesting strongly, President Kajiman was eventually arrested, his shoulder hurt in the process.
General Secretary Masum also left his house the morning of the 27 in order to attend the protest in front of Seoul Immigration. As he walked down the street he was passed by four 4 large men who were laughing amongst themselves. He originally did not pay attention to them; however, immediately after roughly 10 immigration officers came up from behind him. He was suddenly surrounded by nearly 20 people and despite protesting was eventually arrested.
At roughly the same time Vice President Raju was confronted by 4 immigration officers in front of the factory where he worked. Upon seeing the vice president, the immigration officers immediately attempted to handcuff him, but failed due to his forceful protest. When Vice President Raju demanded to see the officers' identification cards, they presented them along with a prepared detention order. Despite his protests the vice president was also eventually arrested.
Soon after all three men were sent to a detention center in Cheongju, Northern Choongjeong Provience, south of the capital Seoul.
2. Clear Labor Repression
The simultaneous arrest of three MTU leaders, is a clearly a targeted attack, planed in timing with an intensification of the crackdown against undocumented migrants in South Korea. Since the beginning of August of this year, the government has carried out a mass-scale crackdown in an attempt to reduce the number of undocumented migrants in the country. During this time more than 20 MTU members and officers have been arrested.
By their own admission, despite this crackdown, the numbers have not significantly decreased. Thus, Immigration Control has stepped up the crackdown in the last several weeks. At the same time a proposal is being put forth to revise South Korea's immigration law to make it completely legal to carry out the crackdown continuously without any procedures, such as requiring warrants or detention orders, to protect the human rights of the people it targets. The government has clearly stepped up its repression against MTU leadership at this moment in order to get rid of the force that has been at the forefront of the struggle against the crackdown.
3. Call for Solidarity
We, the Korean Confederation of Trade Unions and affiliate the Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union, make an urgent appeal to you to do whatever you can to support our struggle to free the arrested union leaders and end the barbaric crackdown underway in South Korea.
In particular we are calling for protest letters to the Ministry of Justice, Minister Jung Seong-Jin +82-2-503-3532 or +82-2-500-9128.
Please be sure to send a copy to KCTU by +82-2-2635-1134(fax) or e-mail at inter@kctu.org
We wish you also to know that KCTU and MTU are by no means deterred by this attack. MTU has already selected a temporary leadership and we have already planned protests for the next days. We are currently making further preparations and will mobilize every means possible to win the release of MTU's leaders.
If you have any questions or need more information, please contact:
Lee Changgeun
International Executive Director
Korean Confederation of Trade Unions
Tel.: +82-2-2670-9234 Fax: +82-2-2635-1134
E-mail: inter@kctu.org Web-site : http://kctu.org
2nd Fl. Daeyoung Bld., 139 Youngdeungpo-2-ga, Youngdeungpo-ku, Seoul 150-032 Korea
Liem Wol-san
International Coordinator
Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union(MTU)-affiliated to KCTU
Tel : +82-2--2285-6068
Email: migrant@jinbo.net Website: http://mtu.or.kr
SAMPLE LETTER
Mr. Jung Seong-Jin
Minister of Justice
Seoul, South Korea
Dear Minister Jung,
On the morning of November 27 between 9:00 and 9:30, the president, vice president and general secretary of the KCTU affiliate, Seoul-Gyeonggi-Incheon Migrants' Trade Union, were arrested, each in front of his separate home or workplace. This event has already received international attention. It is clear from the form in which the arrests took place that this was a targeted crackdown meant to silence MTU and the opposition struggle it has lead against the anti-human rights crackdown being carried out against undocumented migrants in South Korea. That this was a meditated act of repression is also apparent from the fact that the arrests came at the same time as the South Korean Immigration Control Office is stepping up its crackdown and a proposal is being put forth the revise immigration law to make it possible to carry out the crackdown continuously with complete disregard for the most basic procedures to protect human rights.
The arrests of the MTU leadership is a gross violation of human rights and a horrendous act of labor repression which targets not only migrant workers and MTU but also the KCTU, the 15 million workers it represents and the international labor community. As such, we will not remain silent.
We therefore forcefully call on you to meet the following demands:
-Immediately release President Kajiman, Vice President Raju and General Secretary Masum!
-Stop the targeted crackdown and labor repression against MTU!
-Stop the crackdown and deportation of undocumented migrant workers!
Signed,
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Yesterday was a day full of fear, terror and tears. The thing we always knew could happen in Korea finally came to be. The GS was arrested.
The General Secretary, by some miracle, left our house early yesterday so that he could get ready for the day's event-- a protest at the Immigration Office and Detention Center. We said our goodbyes and I got in the shower. About 30 minutes later, I got an urgent call from a friend asking the whereabouts of the GS. "Uh, on the bus, I think." "But you don't know?" said the friend. "No." Very pregnant pause. "Well, we know that Raju and Kajiman were arrested this morning. Raju at his workplace and Kajiman in front of his house. And, uh, the GS turned off his phone." "What do you mean he turned off his phone? He was on it just before he walked out the door." "It's off. I think he was arrested too, but no one knows for sure yet." End of conversation.
I am panicking. I haven't even left the house yet. I try to call the GS and indeed, his phone is off. I try 5 more times anyhow, all with the same result. About 10 minutes later, another phone call. "Where is the GS?" "Fuck! I don't know where the GS is. I was hoping you would tell me." "I don't know. I'll call you when I have more news." By this time I had reached the bus stop. And I'm sobbing.
Ten minutes later, another call. "Did you see the GS this morning? We don't know where he is." "Goddammit, I know that already. How come he hasn't called anyone yet? Why didn't he call me?" "I don't know. I'll call you when we know something." By this time, I'm at school.
My phone continued to ring for the next two hours. And each time, the conversation was virtually the same. Finally, after lunch, I received a call with news of his whereabouts: Cheongju. That's not in Seoul. It's not even the same province as Seoul. Fifteen officers arrested him yesterday morning outside of our front door while I was in the shower and whisked him away to a minimum security jail that is really difficult to get to.
Finally at about 3 o'clock, there was a message on my phone from the GS himself. He called to apologise for getting arrested. And to tell me where he was. And to say that maybe when we kissed each other goodbye this morning, it was our last kiss. And that he hopes he gets to see me again, but he's not sure.
Here's the creepy part: They had been following us. And watching us. For a while. No one knows where we live. No one. Most of our friends didn't even know that we moved. They brought a female translator to deal with me. The called the GS by his full Bangladeshi name. That's like 5 really long strange sounding words. The GS takes medication for his stomach and cholesterol and when he got to the jail, they already had it prepared for him. I reckon they know a lot more about both of us that they just haven't had any reason to disclose it yet. It was the same story with Kajiman and Raju, who are, by the way, the other two elected leaders of the Migrants' Trade Union.
And here's where we get to the part about how I feel. Like shit, that's how. I'm pissed off at Korea. I am so angry that this morning as I was walking to work, I stopped to berate two of the conscripted police officers on my street. I stood there shouting wildly at them, shaking my finger in their faces, swearing up and down, crying. I left only when I felt like my anger was about to turn violent. I feel nothing but contempt for this country at the moment and I feel like lashing out constantly at anyone- everyone- that has any power over me.
I'm afraid. I don't know what will happen to the GS. How long will he stay in jail? What will happen to him when he goes back to Bangladesh? Will I ever see him without a 6 inch glass barrier between us again? What will happen to us?
I'm heartbroken. Maybe more than heartbroken.I don't even know how to describe it. I have been choking on my tears for the last two days. I cried myself to sleep and then starting crying again as soon as woke up and noticed his absence. I burst into tears in the middle of a class or when I'm sitting on the bus. I can't control it. I just can't even begin to express how unfair this all feels. It makes me crazy. I just want to beat the shit out of someone. I want to make them feel as much physical pain as I feel emotional pain. I want take their loved ones and lock them away in jail. I want to ruin their lives. Whoever the hell they are. Bunch of fucking faceless cowards who never have to look us in the eye as they're fucking us over.
Everyone keeps saying that we are lucky that the GS wasn't beaten up by the police. We're lucky that they are taking every precaution to protect his rights. We're lucky that he's not in Hwaseong where the facilities are really bad, the guards are pricks and the rooms are freezing. We're lucky because he has access to phone twice a day. Well, pardon if me if I cynically add that you are right, the gods are really smiling on us now. We are lucky.
I'll be going to Cheongju on Friday night so I can make visiting hours Saturday morning. I guess I'm also lucky that I'll get to see my partner through 6 inch glass one last time before he gets deported.
The General Secretary, by some miracle, left our house early yesterday so that he could get ready for the day's event-- a protest at the Immigration Office and Detention Center. We said our goodbyes and I got in the shower. About 30 minutes later, I got an urgent call from a friend asking the whereabouts of the GS. "Uh, on the bus, I think." "But you don't know?" said the friend. "No." Very pregnant pause. "Well, we know that Raju and Kajiman were arrested this morning. Raju at his workplace and Kajiman in front of his house. And, uh, the GS turned off his phone." "What do you mean he turned off his phone? He was on it just before he walked out the door." "It's off. I think he was arrested too, but no one knows for sure yet." End of conversation.
I am panicking. I haven't even left the house yet. I try to call the GS and indeed, his phone is off. I try 5 more times anyhow, all with the same result. About 10 minutes later, another phone call. "Where is the GS?" "Fuck! I don't know where the GS is. I was hoping you would tell me." "I don't know. I'll call you when I have more news." By this time I had reached the bus stop. And I'm sobbing.
Ten minutes later, another call. "Did you see the GS this morning? We don't know where he is." "Goddammit, I know that already. How come he hasn't called anyone yet? Why didn't he call me?" "I don't know. I'll call you when we know something." By this time, I'm at school.
My phone continued to ring for the next two hours. And each time, the conversation was virtually the same. Finally, after lunch, I received a call with news of his whereabouts: Cheongju. That's not in Seoul. It's not even the same province as Seoul. Fifteen officers arrested him yesterday morning outside of our front door while I was in the shower and whisked him away to a minimum security jail that is really difficult to get to.
Finally at about 3 o'clock, there was a message on my phone from the GS himself. He called to apologise for getting arrested. And to tell me where he was. And to say that maybe when we kissed each other goodbye this morning, it was our last kiss. And that he hopes he gets to see me again, but he's not sure.
Here's the creepy part: They had been following us. And watching us. For a while. No one knows where we live. No one. Most of our friends didn't even know that we moved. They brought a female translator to deal with me. The called the GS by his full Bangladeshi name. That's like 5 really long strange sounding words. The GS takes medication for his stomach and cholesterol and when he got to the jail, they already had it prepared for him. I reckon they know a lot more about both of us that they just haven't had any reason to disclose it yet. It was the same story with Kajiman and Raju, who are, by the way, the other two elected leaders of the Migrants' Trade Union.
And here's where we get to the part about how I feel. Like shit, that's how. I'm pissed off at Korea. I am so angry that this morning as I was walking to work, I stopped to berate two of the conscripted police officers on my street. I stood there shouting wildly at them, shaking my finger in their faces, swearing up and down, crying. I left only when I felt like my anger was about to turn violent. I feel nothing but contempt for this country at the moment and I feel like lashing out constantly at anyone- everyone- that has any power over me.
I'm afraid. I don't know what will happen to the GS. How long will he stay in jail? What will happen to him when he goes back to Bangladesh? Will I ever see him without a 6 inch glass barrier between us again? What will happen to us?
I'm heartbroken. Maybe more than heartbroken.I don't even know how to describe it. I have been choking on my tears for the last two days. I cried myself to sleep and then starting crying again as soon as woke up and noticed his absence. I burst into tears in the middle of a class or when I'm sitting on the bus. I can't control it. I just can't even begin to express how unfair this all feels. It makes me crazy. I just want to beat the shit out of someone. I want to make them feel as much physical pain as I feel emotional pain. I want take their loved ones and lock them away in jail. I want to ruin their lives. Whoever the hell they are. Bunch of fucking faceless cowards who never have to look us in the eye as they're fucking us over.
Everyone keeps saying that we are lucky that the GS wasn't beaten up by the police. We're lucky that they are taking every precaution to protect his rights. We're lucky that he's not in Hwaseong where the facilities are really bad, the guards are pricks and the rooms are freezing. We're lucky because he has access to phone twice a day. Well, pardon if me if I cynically add that you are right, the gods are really smiling on us now. We are lucky.
I'll be going to Cheongju on Friday night so I can make visiting hours Saturday morning. I guess I'm also lucky that I'll get to see my partner through 6 inch glass one last time before he gets deported.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Feeling Dap-Dap Hae
Koreans have this thing that they do when they are feeling exasperated, exhausted, frustrated, misunderstood, confounded, anxious, oppressed, heavy... I list so many adjectives here because there is no good English translation for this word, but this thing that Koreans do, well, I think everyone should do it because it just makes so much sense. They "dap-dap" their chests.
And now you can do it, too. Just ball your right hand into a fist, making sure to keep your thumb on the side of your fist, rather than curled in front of your fingers. Now thump the left side of your chest just above your heart with your right hand in a quasi-King Kong-like manner. It's like you are thumping all of that, uh, stuff, right out of your body.
I have been doing a lot of this lately. Partly because I feel half heart-broken, half numb. Partly because every day I question my future with the GS more and more and wonder if I should just give up now. Or if in fact that my hopeless attitude and half-numb heart will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have been doing this because I can't seem to make decisions about what I should do or where I should go when I'm finished with my teaching contract. I just feel stuck out there in emotional limbo.
And so I'm dap-dap hae. And Dap-daping on my chest feels like an apt expression of all that emotion that I'm not sure how to talk about.
And now you can do it, too. Just ball your right hand into a fist, making sure to keep your thumb on the side of your fist, rather than curled in front of your fingers. Now thump the left side of your chest just above your heart with your right hand in a quasi-King Kong-like manner. It's like you are thumping all of that, uh, stuff, right out of your body.
I have been doing a lot of this lately. Partly because I feel half heart-broken, half numb. Partly because every day I question my future with the GS more and more and wonder if I should just give up now. Or if in fact that my hopeless attitude and half-numb heart will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have been doing this because I can't seem to make decisions about what I should do or where I should go when I'm finished with my teaching contract. I just feel stuck out there in emotional limbo.
And so I'm dap-dap hae. And Dap-daping on my chest feels like an apt expression of all that emotion that I'm not sure how to talk about.
Monday, November 12, 2007
It can get worse. And it does.
When I'm in a bad mood, the director of the school is in a bad mood, and my supervisor is in a bad mood, none of us should bother to speak. Yesterday, I got my ass chewed for a making what I thought was a rather modest suggestion. Maybe I said it in an offensive way, I don't know, but what I do know is that the rather innocent comment was not worth the 45 minutes of conversations I had to have as a result of it. Lesson: Keep your mouth shut at work. Whatever it is, it's not worth it.
Especially not when the universe is in a particularly spiteful mood, as it has been this year with me and the GS. And on that note, we are rather rocky at the moment, thanks for asking. He is extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I'm feeling the same and also neglected. We are just an argument waiting to happen, witness last night circa 1am.
I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I don't want to be at work. In fact, the only place I want to be is in bed. And I'm counting the days til I can leave this job for good. And do what? Who the hell knows, but at least it won't be here.
Especially not when the universe is in a particularly spiteful mood, as it has been this year with me and the GS. And on that note, we are rather rocky at the moment, thanks for asking. He is extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I'm feeling the same and also neglected. We are just an argument waiting to happen, witness last night circa 1am.
I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I don't want to be at work. In fact, the only place I want to be is in bed. And I'm counting the days til I can leave this job for good. And do what? Who the hell knows, but at least it won't be here.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The Latest
The GS and his family are appealing the court's decision, so it will still be several weeks (at least) before we have any real answers. The GS seemed more upbeat yesterday, but I'm not sure if I can get on the being hopeful bandwagon. But in the meantime, his daughter is at his family's house, so she and his mother are both feeling much better.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Possible Solutions
*Bribery
*The Two-State Solution: I summer in Vermont and winter in Bangladesh
*Did I mention bribery?
*Fucking off and forgetting about everything
*Does any country grant asylum for people who are persecuted by their in-laws?
*and that brings us back to bribery- Money really can buy happiness. Maybe.
*The Two-State Solution: I summer in Vermont and winter in Bangladesh
*Did I mention bribery?
*Fucking off and forgetting about everything
*Does any country grant asylum for people who are persecuted by their in-laws?
*and that brings us back to bribery- Money really can buy happiness. Maybe.
The Judgement
The judge found against the GS. He has been ordered to pay US $50,000 or serve jail time. We don't know what the length of the sentence would be yet. Custody of his daughter was awarded to his family, but that is being appealed.
Needless to say, the GS doesn't have $50,000. He doesn't even have a thousand dollars. He would have to borrow money just to fly back to Bangladesh.
He is crushed and defeated. And I'm sitting next to him feeling exactly the same way. How do we move forward?
I won't tempt fate by saying that things can't get worse. Because unfortunately, they almost certainly can.
Needless to say, the GS doesn't have $50,000. He doesn't even have a thousand dollars. He would have to borrow money just to fly back to Bangladesh.
He is crushed and defeated. And I'm sitting next to him feeling exactly the same way. How do we move forward?
I won't tempt fate by saying that things can't get worse. Because unfortunately, they almost certainly can.
Monday, November 5, 2007
never a dull moment
This week. Um right, this week. This is the week. This is the week that decides the fate of the General Secretary and his life in Bangladesh. Well kind of. How should I put this?
The GS is married. Not to me. You knew that right? And he has a daughter. Approximately 12 years old. Well, the GS has been in Korea a long, long time. Long enough to have never met his daughter, and definitely long enough for his marriage to fall apart. Several years ago, he tried to get his wife and daughter to move to Korea. But his mother-in-law wasn't having any of that and they never came. So when it became clear that he wasn't ready to return and his wife wasn't coming here, they decided to call it quits. I think it was pretty mutual, although I, of course, have only heard the story from the GS. So she moved out of his family's home and back into the house with her brothers and mother. That was in October of 2005- when the GS and I were only pals. He seemed tormented about it- not over the possibility of divorce, but over the possibility that he might never get to meet his daughter face to face. At that time, his mother-in-law was merely using his daughter as a bargaining chip- trying to extract whatever money and belongings she could get by dangling a threat over the GS's head. And well, it would have worked except that the GS hasn't held a real job for more than 3 years and there was really no money to be had.
Fast forward to this year. This year, the wife's family decided to sue the GS. For one million dollars. That's right, a million dollars. And we're talking about Bangladesh. A million dollars would've been excessive in America, but in Bangladesh, that's just downright ridiculous.
But that's not all. He's also being charged with spousal neglect. Well, fair enough, I suppose. I mean he has been gone for 12 years. Although frankly, that's common for developing countries where the biggest export is labor. But that's not their problem.The problem is that he didn't turn over a certain percentage of his earnings to his wife. Which I guess is technically true. He was working illegally and Korean law forbids foreigners to send money out of the country unless they can prove that it was earned legally. So he used brokers to send money. Sharks. Who knows how that money gets to Bangladesh, but it definitely isn't by legitimate means. All of that money went to his brother who then distributed it amongst the proper family members. And his wife did live in their house at the time. So, she basically got money, there just isn't any record of it. Tricky.
Anyone know what the penalty for this "neglect" is? Jail time, although we are not sure how much. Could be weeks, months or years depending on the political climate and level of corruption in the courts this week. It might might not be jail time at all. He might just have to work off some absurd debt the good old fashioned way. Whatever it is, we'll know this week. That's right, this week. As in November 7th.
And hey, I'm not saying that the GS was good to his wife. He has made a lot of bad decisions. He has fucked a lot of stuff up. But I do know that he would've never cheated her. And I know that if he had money, he would give it to her, even now. And I know that more than anything, he is afraid of losing his daughter whom he adores even if he's only seen her picture and heard her voice.
The thing about this situation is that so much of it is actually structural. This is where the global economy gets really personal- it is the economy which shaped his decision to come to Korea when his wife was pregnant. And it was for economic reasons that he stayed for so long. And it was because of the injustice of the economy that he started organizing migrant workers trade unions. Now I'm not saying that he has no responsibility in this situation, but so much of it is due to the fact that when you are a migrant from Bangladesh, you are choosing between shit and shit, and even when you stick your nose up in it, it is hard to tell which one smells worse.
We've both been losing sleep over this the last week. Literally. It's really taking a toll on both of us. There are too many possible outcomes in a situation that is totally out of our control. I've had it. If everything doesn't work out this week, I'm not convinced it ever will....
Then where will that leave us? OH jesus am I scared.
The GS is married. Not to me. You knew that right? And he has a daughter. Approximately 12 years old. Well, the GS has been in Korea a long, long time. Long enough to have never met his daughter, and definitely long enough for his marriage to fall apart. Several years ago, he tried to get his wife and daughter to move to Korea. But his mother-in-law wasn't having any of that and they never came. So when it became clear that he wasn't ready to return and his wife wasn't coming here, they decided to call it quits. I think it was pretty mutual, although I, of course, have only heard the story from the GS. So she moved out of his family's home and back into the house with her brothers and mother. That was in October of 2005- when the GS and I were only pals. He seemed tormented about it- not over the possibility of divorce, but over the possibility that he might never get to meet his daughter face to face. At that time, his mother-in-law was merely using his daughter as a bargaining chip- trying to extract whatever money and belongings she could get by dangling a threat over the GS's head. And well, it would have worked except that the GS hasn't held a real job for more than 3 years and there was really no money to be had.
Fast forward to this year. This year, the wife's family decided to sue the GS. For one million dollars. That's right, a million dollars. And we're talking about Bangladesh. A million dollars would've been excessive in America, but in Bangladesh, that's just downright ridiculous.
But that's not all. He's also being charged with spousal neglect. Well, fair enough, I suppose. I mean he has been gone for 12 years. Although frankly, that's common for developing countries where the biggest export is labor. But that's not their problem.The problem is that he didn't turn over a certain percentage of his earnings to his wife. Which I guess is technically true. He was working illegally and Korean law forbids foreigners to send money out of the country unless they can prove that it was earned legally. So he used brokers to send money. Sharks. Who knows how that money gets to Bangladesh, but it definitely isn't by legitimate means. All of that money went to his brother who then distributed it amongst the proper family members. And his wife did live in their house at the time. So, she basically got money, there just isn't any record of it. Tricky.
Anyone know what the penalty for this "neglect" is? Jail time, although we are not sure how much. Could be weeks, months or years depending on the political climate and level of corruption in the courts this week. It might might not be jail time at all. He might just have to work off some absurd debt the good old fashioned way. Whatever it is, we'll know this week. That's right, this week. As in November 7th.
And hey, I'm not saying that the GS was good to his wife. He has made a lot of bad decisions. He has fucked a lot of stuff up. But I do know that he would've never cheated her. And I know that if he had money, he would give it to her, even now. And I know that more than anything, he is afraid of losing his daughter whom he adores even if he's only seen her picture and heard her voice.
The thing about this situation is that so much of it is actually structural. This is where the global economy gets really personal- it is the economy which shaped his decision to come to Korea when his wife was pregnant. And it was for economic reasons that he stayed for so long. And it was because of the injustice of the economy that he started organizing migrant workers trade unions. Now I'm not saying that he has no responsibility in this situation, but so much of it is due to the fact that when you are a migrant from Bangladesh, you are choosing between shit and shit, and even when you stick your nose up in it, it is hard to tell which one smells worse.
We've both been losing sleep over this the last week. Literally. It's really taking a toll on both of us. There are too many possible outcomes in a situation that is totally out of our control. I've had it. If everything doesn't work out this week, I'm not convinced it ever will....
Then where will that leave us? OH jesus am I scared.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
A letter to the GS
Dear GS,
Here we are, more than a year later, and still our relationship hasn't changed. Well, I mean it hasn't changed on the surface. You are still too busy, and I'm still always annoyed with your inability to commit time to me, to us. Our arguments are still the same, and our challenges maybe even more complicated than they were a year ago. But our relationship a year ago was still fresh and new; our time together precious and little; our love filled with urgency and passion.
And as the year passed, your physical distance fostered in me an emotional distance. While your commitment and love for me hasn't changed, my actions and indeed my feelings for you have been growing cold. You question me in passing. You raise the issue without actually raising it, and I dismiss it by telling you that you are silly. But you are right. I don't shower you with kisses like I used to. I no longer utter the words "I love you" or 'I miss you' in the morning or at the end of the day. I give you the emotional distance that I feel, maybe as a result of your physical distance.
None of this was really conscious on my part. I kind of noticed in a detached way, as a person observing my own emotions and actions from another's eyes. I worried about it in unemotional way, as though I was watching the passing of the seasons. I thought I was giving you subtle warnings that I was growing apart from you, but I wasn't really being honest enough with myself to be honest with you about it.
So now, I ignore the longing glances you give me when we are together; I turn my back to you when you need physical assurance in our relationship; and I don't reciprocate the acts of kindness and love that you still manage to give me, despite my emotional distance. Worst of all, I pretend I don't see that hurt look in your eyes when I do all of these things. I can see that you are trying to feel your way out of the dark- trying to figure out what might strike my fancy and bring back my neediness, urgency, passion and love.
And at this point I am so full of doubt about our future that I guess I feel like all of this distance is necessary so that I'm not blown out of the water when I discover that the relationship we have in Korea is not a relationship that could work in any other time or place. The impossibility of immigrating, the distinct possibility of you ending up in jail either as a result of your political activity or wife's family leave too many openings for failure. I know that you are not ready to give up, and at this point I'm not either, but I guess I feel like I'm protecting myself from the distinct possibility of life without you later by trying to minimize the emotional impact of life with you now.
I don't think you fully recognize how afraid I am of a future without you, nor that I am also afraid of the difficulties that a future with you will also almost certainly entail. Our problems and obstacles seem insurmountable.
I'm not writing this because I want to tell you that we are over. In fact it is completely the opposite. I want to figure out how I can make the flame within me burn hot again. I want to give myself to you. I want to have enough faith in us to make it through whatever it is we are going to have to face together. But I cannot get those kinds of reassurances from the kind of life that we live now. What I want to know is, when will you take a long enough break from solving the problems of the world to help me solve the problems of our relationship?
I am sorry that I need you to be here more. And I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to just support you in fighting for a better world. I'm sorry that I am not selfless enough to say that the movement is more important than our relationship and you being away so much is okay. In the beginning, I thought I might be all of those things, but I'm not. I'm sorry for making you believe that in the beginning I was all of those things. As it turns out, I'm just a normal person with average ambitions and needs. If you were looking for superwoman, I'm not your girl. And for that, I am also sorry.
GS, I do love you. I do want this to work. But I'm lost. Please help me find us again.
Your jaan
edited to add: I don't know about the appropriateness of posting stuff like this. On the one hand, it seems way too personal, but on the other hand, I don't really have anyone in Korea to talk to about this stuff so this is, sadly, my only outlet... More on my completely pathetic and lonely life later...
Saturday, October 6, 2007
what a nightmare
I just spent the last few hours trying to navigate the DoD's web page on visa requirements for fiancees and spouses of American citizens. There seem to be a million hoops, and with the hoops, a million ways to be denied entry to the United States...
The GS and I are trying to plan some future that does not include Korea, but it looks like it is going to be costly and difficult to get him into the US- even for a relatively short visit.
His political activity, status as an illegal immigrant and lack of financial resources, combined with my debt and lack of US domicile make it almost impossible for us to live America.
Shit... What if Bangladesh is our only option?!
The GS and I are trying to plan some future that does not include Korea, but it looks like it is going to be costly and difficult to get him into the US- even for a relatively short visit.
His political activity, status as an illegal immigrant and lack of financial resources, combined with my debt and lack of US domicile make it almost impossible for us to live America.
Shit... What if Bangladesh is our only option?!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
I saw a t-shirt yesterday....
it said, "help cure abortion". and it was worn by someone who almost definitely didn't understand it.
AND now for something completely different:
The General Secretary finally had his follow up appointment. It seems that things are not as bad as we originally thought. The levels of bacteria in his stomach have been decreasing and the labs didn't show any signs of cancer. He still has to be careful about what he eats (no Korean food), needs to stop smoking and shouldn't really drink either, but we are much less worried than before. His main problem, it now seems, is his cholesterol. But that seems manageable...
In other news, there isn't much news. And this is good. The string of unfortunate incidents seems to have lifted with the heat. Our undocumented friends are still being caught at alarming rates, but the union and its solidarity groups have set up a kind of black panthers style police the police system. They go to the subway stations that migrants frequently use for commuting in the morning and evening to ensure that every can get to and from work safely. And many of the leaders in the migrant community now have Korean "body guards" to make sure that they have a little extra protection. Fortunately, we have a lot of activists in this neighborhood so that hasn't meant that we have to accommodate the GS's "body guards".
I think the GS hates the idea of always having someone with him. He is impulsive and having someone else around ALL the time really inhibits his ability to move freely, but well, so do the police. I feel a lot better knowing that there is almost always someone with him. At least that way if he does get caught, I can find out about right away.
The way I figure it, the GS only has to avoid getting caught here for a few more months- By winter time he should be able to return to Bangladesh without too many problems with the police there, his family or his (kind of) ex-wife's family. Of course, the political situation in Bangladesh is constantly changing, but I'm trying to be optimistic about everything... I really want him to get back to Bangladesh soon so he can deal with is whole life mess, but.... to really hope for something might still be asking too much....
AND now for something completely different:
The General Secretary finally had his follow up appointment. It seems that things are not as bad as we originally thought. The levels of bacteria in his stomach have been decreasing and the labs didn't show any signs of cancer. He still has to be careful about what he eats (no Korean food), needs to stop smoking and shouldn't really drink either, but we are much less worried than before. His main problem, it now seems, is his cholesterol. But that seems manageable...
In other news, there isn't much news. And this is good. The string of unfortunate incidents seems to have lifted with the heat. Our undocumented friends are still being caught at alarming rates, but the union and its solidarity groups have set up a kind of black panthers style police the police system. They go to the subway stations that migrants frequently use for commuting in the morning and evening to ensure that every can get to and from work safely. And many of the leaders in the migrant community now have Korean "body guards" to make sure that they have a little extra protection. Fortunately, we have a lot of activists in this neighborhood so that hasn't meant that we have to accommodate the GS's "body guards".
I think the GS hates the idea of always having someone with him. He is impulsive and having someone else around ALL the time really inhibits his ability to move freely, but well, so do the police. I feel a lot better knowing that there is almost always someone with him. At least that way if he does get caught, I can find out about right away.
The way I figure it, the GS only has to avoid getting caught here for a few more months- By winter time he should be able to return to Bangladesh without too many problems with the police there, his family or his (kind of) ex-wife's family. Of course, the political situation in Bangladesh is constantly changing, but I'm trying to be optimistic about everything... I really want him to get back to Bangladesh soon so he can deal with is whole life mess, but.... to really hope for something might still be asking too much....
Saturday, August 4, 2007
20 Reason to Stay in Bed- Every Day
Yes, I dropped off the face of the earth. I wasn't sure that I was ready to write honestly about how my life was going so I decided not to write at all. Everything that came out felt negative and bitter and the whole world was just feeling a little overwhelming. Well, the whole world still feels a bit overwhelming, and scary and just downright unfair, but I guess it's time to stop hiding and let some people in on what's going on.
Not long after I wrote the post about the GS getting sick, I got a bit sick myself. Not physically, but the stress of living so far from my family and friends, a job that is on good days mildly annoying and on bad days gives me terrorist thoughts, a relationship that requires a lot of energy and patience (which I am quickly running out of).... You get the picture. I was really depressed. So depressed that I spent about a week weighing my options for suicide, throwing temper tantrums that would surely rival those of any tired and angry 2 year old, and being downright nasty to nearly everyone I came into contact with, including many friends who only wanted to cheer me up.
I have obtained contact information for a therapist, but have not yet called. I don't know why really. I obviously can't handle whatever is going on in my life myself, but I haven't brought myself to do it just yet.
I am so frustrated about the fact that there hasn't been any more information about the GS's condition. I have no idea how sick he is, but he is still asymptomatic, so he continues to live in denial about his medical condition. He is working so much that I haven't seen him much at all in the last 3 weeks. In fairness, I did just spend a week on vacation in Taiwan, but I came back on Tuesday and haven't seen the GS for more than a handful of hours since I returned.
To make matters worse, the situation for undocumented workers grows more dangerous by the hour here in Korea. As of August 1, the government expanded immigration powers to the regular police force, so now any Officer Kim could pick the GS off of a street corner (before the regular police could only pick up an undocumented worker if he or she had committed a crime other than a visa violation). Since Wednesday, we know of more than 200 workers who have been picked up. The number is likely much much higher than that, since those numbers come through our friends sending in reports, not any official source.
And the activists we know who have left or have been deported are being harassed by police as soon as they leave Korea. The best example of this is our friend Anwar (the first president of the migrants' union and spent a year in detention here for serving that post), who was arrested twice on his way out of the country. Once in Singapore where he was held only temporarily for questioning about his anti-government activities and then again in Bangladesh were he was held a bit longer, charged with a crime and is on a sort of probation where he has to check in with the Bangladeshi police in his hometown until his court date.
So needless to say, I am really worried about the safety of the GS in addition to his health, which he is doing nothing to take care of. I've stopped nagging as it only gives me more stress when I beg him to do something and he ignores it...
So today I as I write, I feel sad in a deep down sort of way, though I'm not sure of the specific reason. I'm a little lonely, a little bored and a little bit of unsure what I should be doing with myself since I don't have to go to work today. I know the Rev.Dr.Mom and NSLS are going to be worried when they read this, which I suppose is one reason why I decided not write for a while.
I'll get a post up about my trip to Taiwan, including some pictures (really, I took my camera), which I shouldn't be so depressing... I hope...
Not long after I wrote the post about the GS getting sick, I got a bit sick myself. Not physically, but the stress of living so far from my family and friends, a job that is on good days mildly annoying and on bad days gives me terrorist thoughts, a relationship that requires a lot of energy and patience (which I am quickly running out of).... You get the picture. I was really depressed. So depressed that I spent about a week weighing my options for suicide, throwing temper tantrums that would surely rival those of any tired and angry 2 year old, and being downright nasty to nearly everyone I came into contact with, including many friends who only wanted to cheer me up.
I have obtained contact information for a therapist, but have not yet called. I don't know why really. I obviously can't handle whatever is going on in my life myself, but I haven't brought myself to do it just yet.
I am so frustrated about the fact that there hasn't been any more information about the GS's condition. I have no idea how sick he is, but he is still asymptomatic, so he continues to live in denial about his medical condition. He is working so much that I haven't seen him much at all in the last 3 weeks. In fairness, I did just spend a week on vacation in Taiwan, but I came back on Tuesday and haven't seen the GS for more than a handful of hours since I returned.
To make matters worse, the situation for undocumented workers grows more dangerous by the hour here in Korea. As of August 1, the government expanded immigration powers to the regular police force, so now any Officer Kim could pick the GS off of a street corner (before the regular police could only pick up an undocumented worker if he or she had committed a crime other than a visa violation). Since Wednesday, we know of more than 200 workers who have been picked up. The number is likely much much higher than that, since those numbers come through our friends sending in reports, not any official source.
And the activists we know who have left or have been deported are being harassed by police as soon as they leave Korea. The best example of this is our friend Anwar (the first president of the migrants' union and spent a year in detention here for serving that post), who was arrested twice on his way out of the country. Once in Singapore where he was held only temporarily for questioning about his anti-government activities and then again in Bangladesh were he was held a bit longer, charged with a crime and is on a sort of probation where he has to check in with the Bangladeshi police in his hometown until his court date.
So needless to say, I am really worried about the safety of the GS in addition to his health, which he is doing nothing to take care of. I've stopped nagging as it only gives me more stress when I beg him to do something and he ignores it...
So today I as I write, I feel sad in a deep down sort of way, though I'm not sure of the specific reason. I'm a little lonely, a little bored and a little bit of unsure what I should be doing with myself since I don't have to go to work today. I know the Rev.Dr.Mom and NSLS are going to be worried when they read this, which I suppose is one reason why I decided not write for a while.
I'll get a post up about my trip to Taiwan, including some pictures (really, I took my camera), which I shouldn't be so depressing... I hope...
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