woman warrior --

[noun]: A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Bonus Conversation

WW: "Ew! look at the air!"

Co-worker: "Oh my god, I can see the air!"

WW: "I know, isn't that gross?"

Planning Christmas

Should I spend $240 to go to Orlando for a day and a half to see my grandmother when I'm home for Christmas? Would it be horrible if I didn't go at all?

The problem is that I'm home for so little time. And I imagine visiting my grandmother would also entail staying with my aunt or cousin, which I can't say that I'd be very excited about. Nor would I be excited about being there alone. Nor would I be excited about Florida.

Honestly, I don't really want to go. But I have a whole bunch of guilt. I haven't seen my grandmother for maybe 5 years. ( Actually, I'm not sure, but I think it was at my grandfather's funeral) And well, she's old and moved into a home now and doesn't get around so good, so you know, it's kind of a now or maybe never thing. But our family (as in my mom's family) isn't exactly what you would call close. And honestly, I don't really mind all that much... I just mean that I'm used to it so it doesn't really tear me apart to not see them on a holiday.

And there are a lot of people in Vermont that I'd really like to see.

And what about my older brother? He's engaged now...Where is he going to be?

Why does planning a trip home for Christmas have to entail how everybody I know feels about my homecoming?

Maybe I'm just a rotten and selfish person. I should go...

bonus conversation re: NSLS

One of my coworkers always says he wants to have sex with pregnant women. So I asked him if he wanted to have sex with my sister, because well, she is pregnant...

So I showed him this picture and...

...he said, "No! Your sister looks like you!" To which I replied, "Are you saying I look like a pregnant woman?" to which he replied, "No. Well yes. But in a good way. You have the same freckled chest."

"Are you sure that's what you mean?" I asked.

Fumbling ensued.

Result: I actually look like a pregnant woman.

Moral of the story: never ask a coworker if he wants to have sex with your pregnant sister.

i hate microsoft

Why do I have to enable microsoft on my computer to renew my anti-virus subscription? I don't use the windows suite or microsoft explorer, but I needed to buy Norton again, and nothing worked properly until I re-enabled all of the microsoft shit on my computer. I still us the MS opperating system, but I wish I didn't. It really pisses me off and actually, I still haven't been able to get all of the Norton programs working properly. I played with it for a few hours last night and my software still isn't updated. What a bunch of bullshit.

random bullets of anyway

• Today is NSLS's birthday! Happy Birthday, lil preggy sis. Your belly looks so cute, BTW!

• In not so nice news, a really good friend of mine and the GS's was arrested in a factory immigration raid on Halloween. I'm going out to the boondocks detention center tomorrow earlyish to check on him and deliver some medication. Not really looking forward to that, but I guess it may be my last chance to see him. It's shocking, really, how many of the people I befriended 2.5 years ago have been caught and deported, mostly in the last 3 months. Korea is becoming a lonelier place everyday.

• In other news that's not bad or good, I moved last weekend. I now live a little itty bitty one room apartment with the GS. It's really close to my job and allows me to live in my own squalor but not have to tolerate other people's, which is exactly what I like. Although fortunately, there isn't any squalor here yet.

• In somewhat sad news, rani the cat had to find a new home. She lived in the one room place with us for about a week, but she was getting cagey and driving us so crazy we couldn't sleep. The GS enquired at the pet food shop and the folks there generously agreed to help us out. I miss rani already. I wish there was a way to keep her.

• In super exciting news, I'm definitely going back to America for Christmas, and I'll get to stay 2 whole weeks. No word yet on what the actual plan is when I arrive, but it can't be bad whatever it is. I need a break from Korea!

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Where It's At

In bullet form because frankly, I'm not sure what I'm going to say once I start writing....

• The new job: Well. hmmmm. It hasn't settled down yet. No, not one bit. We've had at least one change to our class schedule every day this week; there is still confusion over which students belong in which classes, what are homework assignments are supposed to be like... Or not. And well, this is the really frustrating thing about working in private schools in Korea: It's all flash and PR to attract extremely wealthy parents and their rotten kids. Here's a great example: we have oil pastels in the art room. And expensive paints. And that kind of coloring chalk that artists use, but we don't have any complete sets of crayons in our class rooms. Nor do we have enough scissors, glue, file folders or a copy machine that actually works, or enough damn desks for all the teachers in our faculty lounge. So we are always fighting over materials and workspace, thereby reducing the amount of time we have to be productive when we are not in the class room, and in fact always having to leave our classrooms to find the things we need. And when we do find the things we need, we usually have to steal it from someone else, which of course is really annoying because it never gets returned. Just, why oh why are we dealing with such ridiculous scarcity for the things we really need, when our school is overflowing with stupid, pretty, useless things that are going to break or get wrecked within 2 months anyhow? SO FRUSTRATING!


• Speaking of rotten kids... my kids are like totally rotten. Cute, but rotten. Smart, but rotten. We had a meet and greet with the parents last weekend. Boy, was that telling. Our students rule their parents and as such they expect to rule in the classroom. This week has not been easy. No, little 5 year old, you can not tell me what to do. This is school, and I am not your mother... So my students come from an interesting and assorted group of the Korean elite: I have one child who is the daughter of a very famous actor; another whose father and uncle are professional baseball players for Texas and some Florida team in America; a big politician's daughter; and the remainder mostly come from rich executives or old money from the Korean chaebol legacy. I'm trying to remember that it is not the kids' faults that they are so damn rotten, but when you have 8 students with 8 ideas about what they want and have never been told "no," well, sometimes you just feel like lining the kids up against the wall and making your classroom into a boot camp that breaks their will. Now in honesty, the thought of that abhors every anti-authoritarian instinct I have, but it's a hard balance of teaching a kid to remain independent and spirited and not letting them step all over each other and their teachers... Especially when their parents are teaching them to step all over everyone to get what they want...


• OH what happened to my sweet, smart and respectful students at the first school? Dolphin class and Giraffe class, I sure do miss you kids.... and your great parents.


• Life with the GS this week has been a little better. He hasn't worked since last Friday when his dad died...He has a lot on his mind of course, and has spent a lot of time on the phone with his family and is doing his best to help them from here, but it's been really nice just to see him after a totally exhausting day and not wonder how late his meeting is going to last or if he is going to have time to eat a meal with me this week. Unfortunately this week will be over as of tomorrow, so it' s back to the grind of being too busy for much of anything outside of work.


• Although no decisions have officially been made yet, it looks like this will be the last year for us in Korea. He will probably go to Bangladesh first to take care of things with his family... I'm not sure what my plan is yet because I want to finish a year at this school and make enough money to be able to travel to the US and to Bangladesh before I'm settled anywhere.


• I'm not freaking out as much as I was last week, mostly because that stuff doesn't make sense to freak out about right now. And the GS is still the same old GS, and although it is really sad that his dad died, it is really nice to see him reconnecting with his family and owning up to his responsibilities. And while I don't know what that means for us as a couple, I guess it is good for me to see this side of him and get to know him more deeply... And well, isn't that what being in a good relationship is all about? The adventure; the learning to be there for each other even when it is confusing and hard; and the rewards of growing together, even when it is in sometimes equal and opposite directions... You can spend a whole life time getting to know someone... Isn't that fun?
  

Lazy Weekend Bonus

Lil' Sister tagged me for the 6 weird things meme... I've been avoiding it for the obvious drama that has taken over my life, but let's take a break from the drama and learn about just how un-weird I actually am despite the, um, unique circumstances of my life now.

1. I'm a bona fide anarchist, in the good old fashioned Emma Goldman meaning of the word. That's right. Stay away from the 3 pernicious influences: god, private property and the state, and live happily ever after. I come mostly from the anarcho-syndicalist camp of anarchism, which if you read the link, you will find out that anarcho-syndicalism is not mutually exclusive of collectivism or some of the other schools of anarchist thought. These days there is a movement amongst anarchists in which they kind of defy these kinds of "old fashioned" definitions, but that is such a long discussion that it is probably better to keep simple here. And oh yeah, in true anarchist style, I have been tear gassed and beaten up by police, but sadly never actually arrested. I'm not sure how I avoided that actually.

2. Despite my "we're all in the same boat, so let's row it together" mentality, I am a bit of a lone wolf. That's right, WW is not a pack animal. Sure I have friends, and back home in America, I have lots and lots of friends, but I've never been the kind of person to go along with the crowd and have always found small ways to make my self different even if I look pretty darn average. I like people, but damn, I love to be alone with a book even more. People make me tired. And sometimes cranky. Especially stupid ones.

3. I am completely lacking in the self-censorship part of the brain. Show me the line and I will leap over it. Diplomacy? I've tried it, but it never worked for me. Rude jokes? Cynicism? Opinions? Yes, I share them freely, often in the company of those who would rather not hear it. And I'm not sorry about it. Not one bit.

Is any of this actually weird? I don't know.

4. I have a green thumb. And I can milk cows. And goats. And make cheese and yogurt. I don't even mind shoveling shit and throwing around hay bails. Yes, I'd love to live the life of an organic (very small scale) farmer by summer, and urban street smart nearly 30 something by winter. Here in Seoul, I am gearing up for my rooftop container garden that will feature flowers, flowers, flowers! tomatoes, peppers and onions. Maybe even a pumpkin or 2 and some cukes. I love to make things grow.

5. Prepositions are my passion. Okay, not really but I am an EFL teacher in Korea. Koreans don't have nearly as many prepositions as we do, so it's hard for them to wrap their brains around all the different ways to make different parts of sentences fit together. I seem to be the only English teacher in the country who has explained this part of English to students. Oh, adverbs too. Don't English speakers know what an adverb is? So what this boils down to is that I love grammar, although I am no longer all that good at. But I'm in Korea, land of the really really stupid English teacher. Stupidity, from my point of view, is relative, so here I am GRAMMAR QUEEN of the peninsula. I am also especially good at explaining vocabulary words, perhaps owing to my fifth grade spelling/vocabulary club called the HYPERPOLYSYLLABICSESQUAPEDALIST which is a long word that means a person who says long words. Or so I was told by my fifth grade reading teacher, Mr. Peters.

6. I don't like cake. Or frosting. Or pie. I guess there are exceptions to that, but they don't exist in Korea. I'd take ice cream over cake or pie any day.

PS I'm not tagging anyone because I'm like the last person on the internet to do this meme. Besides, I don't even have 6 blogging buddies....

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Edited to Add:
So I started thinking about this post and really got the feeling that I wasn't digging deep enough and that I needed to reveal something, at least one thing, that was actually weird about myself. So here I go:

I don't wear deodorant. I stink. And I like the way that it smells. It's kind of musky and soapy at the same time. And the GS likes the smell, too. Maybe we are both weird...

The GS doesn't wear deodorant either. But he doesn't stink. He always smells fresh and clean, even when he is under enormous amounts of stress. Don't ask me how he does it. I sure am jealous.

And I'm a closet Justin Timberlake fan. That's probably not weird, but something I wouldn't admit under normal circumstances.

I have had several "ass injuries". The first was when I was 5 and got attacked by a dog and had to get stitches in my ass. Still got the scar to prove it. The 2nd was in the 4th grade when I bruised my tailbone badly showing off my mad gymnastic skills on the playground and flew off the bar early on a dismount. And the last was, well, I guess I only had two, but for some reason butt trauma takes up a lot of space in my mind.

Last thing: I don't know how to cut my nails so I bite my fingernails, yet somehow, they never look bitten, but neatly trimmed. My teeth have got mad skills, y'all. 'Cept for that one time I chipped a little piece of my front tooth whilst nail biting. That sucked.

Now if there was a meme on strange injuries, I think I could do really well...

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jog

As it turns out, I did make it back to Korea on Monday with few problems. I made a phone call to Korea on Monday morning and talked to my boss who told me that I was flying stand-by and that I should get to the airport as early as possible. Well, I didn't even know that you could fly stand-by on international flights, but I ran to the airport, got to the check-in desk (where not a person was stationed because there were no outgoing flights for that airline until much later in the day) and then searched the airport in a panic to find out what my status was. I located someone who was a little confounded by my panic; she checked the computer and informed me that my boss was an idiot, I needn't have run to the airport and that I had a seat that I could check in for 4 hours later...

So I spent a beautiful Spring day inside the Fukuoka airport instead of outside, but at least with the security of a confirmed seat (11A, thank you very much) and just enough money for lunch. So I guess all is well that ends well.

When I arrived home, my phone was ringing off the hook with bosses and managers and co-workers and friends who wanted to make sure I arrived. I walked in the door to find a tired roommate and crying cat with no food in her bowl and a cat box that hadn't been scooped since the day before I left. The floor hadn't been vacuumed, the dishes hadn't been washed, and all of my laundry that I had just washed (but apparently never dried) was filling my room with the smell of mildew. I was already tired and stressed out, and now to add to it all, very annoyed.

But there was no time to deal with any of that because I had to wake at 7 the next morning so I could get to work early because I had an inordinate amount of catch up work to do due to my prolonged stay in Japan. I walk into a confused, disorganized office and tried to get going only to find that the copying machine was broken, none of the computers in my office were connected to a printer and I had left my personal jump drive at home and our office had nothing I could use. So I spent the day fighting over our limited computers (which we all need all day right now), emailing documents to myself so I could print them downstairs, and trying to pacify the worries of our 2 new teachers who have never taught before, never planned a lesson and who have received no training for their brand new job in a brand new country.

I worked at the kindergarten until 6 and then rushed off to teach my 3 hour middle school class from 7-10 pm. It was a brand new, unbroken in class and really hard to teach. Middle school students can really just suck the life out of you. So by the time I got home at 11:30 pm I was feeling broken and tired and so my house is still pretty much in the same state.

And Wednesday? Pretty much the same as Tuesday. Except on Tuesday night the GS finally picked up on my weariness and did some laundry and took care of the cat poo so our house is a little bit less disgusting.

And today? It's a national holiday so I finally got some much needed sleep, prepped for my class tonight (for the middle school students at the school that does not observe national holidays) and should be finishing my lesson plans for the kinder school, but instead I just feel like complaining. Sometimes life just feels like boot camp, but I'm not sure what I'm training for.

Tomorrow is our first day of teaching. Hopefully it'll go more smoothly than the week of preparation has been...

my name is woman warrior and i am addicted to tv

As my new kitten, Rani, sits on my shoulder and grooms the left side of my face, my hair and my neck, I wonder, when did my world go from the New York Times and NPR to America's Next Top Model and Project Runway? How is it that in the last couple of months I've transitioned from intellectual(ish) activist to Tyra Banks cheerleader?

It's true, I spend surprisingly little time these days... thinking. Observing. Analyzing. Reading. And let me tell you that it is not for lack of time. It's just that, well, I spend all of my free time watching elimination show after elimination show, spiced up with a little Sex and the City, and the occasional movie.

And let me tell you something else. This does not have anything to do with depression. No siree. Well, maybe the original habit does, but hey, I'm over that. Really. The days are getting longer, things are looking brighter and I'm actually hanging out with *new* friends (well acquaintances at least). That is, when I'm not home watching TV.

You see, there is just always a big excuse. Like this week, I fell really very extremely ill and literally couldn't leave the house for like 3 days. I mean, the air is damp right now, cold and full of pollution. The air is so thick, it chokes you. And the dampness seems to stick to you. So no way was I going out there. Nope. I mean, one breath of that air, and I like fall to the ground in a coughing/choking on air fit that has been rivaled few times in my life. (Although, for those of you who remember the bronchitis I contracted during the Pollina campaign in 2000, well, this might compare.)

So I guess I feel that I'm ready to enter the thinking world once again. Only, well, where do I start? (I suppose now wouldn't be the time to turn off the computer, and turn on the tv, would it?)

Somebody, please, tell me what to read!!!

continuing to live a funk free existence

So I haven't been writing because I just kind of don't want to jinx it...But, well, here we are and so here I go.

Dare I say it? I actually feel... happy. I cannot pinpoint exactly why my emotional hardwiring is deciding to do an about-face, but damn it feels good to not feel bad. I have been blowing off my Korean classes, mostly because I don't have time to do the work to pass and it is beginning to feel hopeless. But you know what? For the first time, this does not stress me out.

The General Secretary. Busier than ever. But, this also does not stress me out... With him I just let go of expectations. I know his job is hard. I know he's always working and that he wants to be here as much as I want him to be here. But I know, too, that this is a short term situation and for the next month this is what life must be like. So why start a fight about it? So I've changed my mind-set to how I think when I'm single, which is much healthier anyway, and the General Secretary and I (though not broken up now) are going to have a go at what a real life might be like together when his post with the Migrants Trade Union is completed in just over a month.

And work. Well, I still don't care, but I have resolved to make a lot of money in the coming year and so I'm on the hunt. But I think I've figured out that doing a lot of different kinds of teaching is what just might work for me. Right now, I am working part time at a hagwon, teaching private lessons, and about to pick up another part time kindergarten gig. It's all different enough that I'm not bored out of my mind by the repetion and right now it's enough work to live comfortably (if not a little meagerly)... So in March, we'll see if I can keep up this kind of schedule or if I have to become a one-job woman again.

I'm still on the look out for an affordable gym that makes sense given all the different places I have to commute to around Seoul, where I can get into a routine and stick to it. But in the meantime, I'm not feeling as lazy as I was a couple of weeks ago.

And lastly: Rani (roll the r, short a, kind of spanish sounding). Rani is the newest edition to our bustling household of 4 and one of the cutest darn kittens you've ever seen. And perhaps the most social I've ever met. She cannot stand to be alone and is extremely jealous of the GS, which unfortunately for me, has resulted in an abnormal amount of laundry. But she is playful and cuddly and everyone loves her and she has really earned her name, which means "Queen" in Bangla.

3 Days, Funk Free

and now for something completely different

On account of the fact that I've been so darned depressed lately, I have, maybe for the first time ever, made some New Year's Resolutions. They aren't earth shattering, but improvements to your life don't have to be, do they? So here they are:

1. Join a damn gym that offers classes. Because see, I know myself. No class. No go. It's simple.

2.Get a cat. Yes, I think a little furry companionship would go a long way and this is an easy goal to reach, as I've already lined a furry little kitten up. I know that goals must be achievable.

3. Toss the TV. Again. I've only had it for like 2 months, but I'm sure that it is 2/3 of the reason I'm totally lazy.

4. Laundry once a week. The rest of the house is clean, but damn I've got an explosion of ugly clothes that I hate AND need to be washed in my bedroom.

So happy New Year everybody. Let's hope for a better 2007. Or, as they say in Korean:
새해 복 많이 받으세요!

the greatness of the general secretary is in the daal.

I'm hungry. And sick of Korean food. And afraid of chicken and beef. So what's a girl to do? Well, that's when the General Secretary is real handy. Last week, he taught me how to make daal. Dahl. Okay, I don't how you spell it, but you know what it is. That lentil bean deliciousness native to the Indian Subcontinent. Well, folks I can make it. And I did. A lot of it. And now I'm making rice. And in a few minutes I'm going to eat. A lot.

Besides daal, this post is a tribute to a truly international relationship. An American and Bangladeshi living together in Korea can really cook up a storm. Ain't it great?

it's the small things

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here's my attempt to stop complaining and tell the world about things that I actually like:

-- Ho DDeok- Funny spelling? Yes, but it tastes darn delicious. Ho Ddeok is a Korean adaption of an originally chinese pancake that is so darn yummy and cheap (only $.50) that you have to eat them every time you see them. They start with a slab of dough, slather some sweet cinnamon and nut concoction on it, make it into a ball and then flatten it out on a hot and greasy griddle. Warning, the gooey deliciousness inside will burn your lips and stick to your clothes if not handled with care!

--My neighborhood. So like, in some ways I really hate my neighborhood. Why? Because all of the worse elements of the North American ex-pat scene can be found here. Fortunately for me, I live up the hill, slightly away from the racist expats and the Koreans who love them. So let's take a walk up the hill to the Korean side of the 'hood. See up there, the best kimchi in all of Korea can be found (and my kimchi grandma as I call her, who always tells me I speak Korean well and then asks me if she is beautiful). And up there, the ho ddeok lady is extra sweet. And, up there, the neighborhood grannies hang out in the 24 atm room to stay warm because they love each other's company so much. Kids play in the street and roam freely because all of the shop owners are their surrogate parents. And from up there, it is only a short walk to one of my favorite Korean activist groups: Suyo pluse Nomo. From up there, you have an excellent view of everything south of the Han River, and from up there you can catch a bus to downtown Seoul.

--This morning I awoke with the smell of garlic in my nostrils. I know, it sounds weird that I'd actually enjoy that, but it means that my downstairs neighbor is in phase 2 of kimchi making, which I kind of get to watch because it happens outside in front of my house. And I love kimchi!! (and last winter, she gave us some-- mmmmmmmmmmmm)

--Ondul Floors. Feeling cold? Sit on the floor! Hate putting your feet on the floor in the morning? Hate no more. Ondul floors make winter downright delightful. And in fact, I love not having a bed because the floor is so nice and toasty. Only the bathroom doesn't have ondul, in fact the bathroom doesn't have heat of any kind, so in the winter, it is definitely the least desirable place to spend your time. Poop fast and shower faster so you can rush back to the floor and feel nice.

--The internet is fan-freakin-tastic. This month, I taught myself how to crochet by looking at pictures (of course, I had previous instruction almost exactly one year ago, but said previous instructor is now residing in the USA - much to my dismay- and is probably lounging at her parents' house making a crocheted monkey as I write). Of course, I have not yet gotten beyond finger warmers (you must wrap and tie) and mustache warmers, which can also serve as handkerchiefs in case of runny nose. Sure it looks a little gross, but it beats dripping on your upper lip! And let's hooray for new hobbies while we're at it!

-- Rice. Kim (dried seaweed, not my american friend). Dried Squid with sweet gochujang. My lunch. Every day. And darn good.

--The Ginkgo and Japanese Maple trees on my way to the subway station. Outstanding.

--Living next to Nam San (South Mountain). On weekend nights it's more like living next to Grand Prix practice for geared out Koreans, but nearly every other time and day, it's a great place to get away from the hardcore cityscape and enjoy a little nature.

--Splurging on books: I am now simultaneously reading "Becoming Madame Mao," "Little Infamies," "No One Writes to the Colonel," and the November issue of Z Magazine. I was starved for reading for so long. And now I have all these books that I have to read all at the same time because it is so darn exciting. Maybe it sounds confusing to read about revolutionary China, Greece, Latin America and American politics all at the same time, but really it's not. Especially if you are mostly unemployed, like me.

--Realizing that you are good at something. Last night I substitute taught for the school I was recently fired from (don't get me started on that, it'll bring down the quality of the "small things" post) and realized that I really turn students on. They were down right excited with me at the head of the classroom. And gosh darn it, it was even fun. ... So why do I hate working so much?

-- And last of the day: Waking up in a hug. Yes, I especially like that. And who wouldn't?

Why Woman Warrior?

Because a few years ago my friend gave me a "War Goddess" movie poster with the tag line: "Women Warriors as sexy as they are savage. Women Rulers as passionate as they are powerful." And it was funny. Sure, the movie was made by Terence Young, the original and sexist brain behind James Bond, but we can re appropriate, can we not? So I did....

Anyone know how I can put this picture on my profile without signing up for yet another Internet service that I don't need or want?

This Ole Blog

So like, I wanted to import my old dumpy blog on friendster to this new shiny one, but I can't figure out how to do it. Which is really too bad because, well, all you people out there in the blogosphere are missing out on some darn good stuff... So, for posterity's sake here is the link to my old blog.