Yesterday was a day full of fear, terror and tears. The thing we always knew could happen in Korea finally came to be. The GS was arrested.

The General Secretary, by some miracle, left our house early yesterday so that he could get ready for the day's event-- a protest at the Immigration Office and Detention Center. We said our goodbyes and I got in the shower. About 30 minutes later, I got an urgent call from a friend asking the whereabouts of the GS. "Uh, on the bus, I think." "But you don't know?" said the friend. "No." Very pregnant pause. "Well, we know that Raju and Kajiman were arrested this morning. Raju at his workplace and Kajiman in front of his house. And, uh, the GS turned off his phone." "What do you mean he turned off his phone? He was on it just before he walked out the door." "It's off. I think he was arrested too, but no one knows for sure yet." End of conversation.

I am panicking. I haven't even left the house yet. I try to call the GS and indeed, his phone is off. I try 5 more times anyhow, all with the same result. About 10 minutes later, another phone call. "Where is the GS?" "Fuck! I don't know where the GS is. I was hoping you would tell me." "I don't know. I'll call you when I have more news." By this time I had reached the bus stop. And I'm sobbing.

Ten minutes later, another call. "Did you see the GS this morning? We don't know where he is." "Goddammit, I know that already. How come he hasn't called anyone yet? Why didn't he call me?" "I don't know. I'll call you when we know something." By this time, I'm at school.

My phone continued to ring for the next two hours. And each time, the conversation was virtually the same. Finally, after lunch, I received a call with news of his whereabouts: Cheongju. That's not in Seoul. It's not even the same province as Seoul. Fifteen officers arrested him yesterday morning outside of our front door while I was in the shower and whisked him away to a minimum security jail that is really difficult to get to.

Finally at about 3 o'clock, there was a message on my phone from the GS himself. He called to apologise for getting arrested. And to tell me where he was. And to say that maybe when we kissed each other goodbye this morning, it was our last kiss. And that he hopes he gets to see me again, but he's not sure.

Here's the creepy part: They had been following us. And watching us. For a while. No one knows where we live. No one. Most of our friends didn't even know that we moved. They brought a female translator to deal with me. The called the GS by his full Bangladeshi name. That's like 5 really long strange sounding words. The GS takes medication for his stomach and cholesterol and when he got to the jail, they already had it prepared for him. I reckon they know a lot more about both of us that they just haven't had any reason to disclose it yet. It was the same story with Kajiman and Raju, who are, by the way, the other two elected leaders of the Migrants' Trade Union.

And here's where we get to the part about how I feel. Like shit, that's how. I'm pissed off at Korea. I am so angry that this morning as I was walking to work, I stopped to berate two of the conscripted police officers on my street. I stood there shouting wildly at them, shaking my finger in their faces, swearing up and down, crying. I left only when I felt like my anger was about to turn violent. I feel nothing but contempt for this country at the moment and I feel like lashing out constantly at anyone- everyone- that has any power over me.

I'm afraid. I don't know what will happen to the GS. How long will he stay in jail? What will happen to him when he goes back to Bangladesh? Will I ever see him without a 6 inch glass barrier between us again? What will happen to us?

I'm heartbroken. Maybe more than heartbroken.I don't even know how to describe it. I have been choking on my tears for the last two days. I cried myself to sleep and then starting crying again as soon as woke up and noticed his absence. I burst into tears in the middle of a class or when I'm sitting on the bus. I can't control it. I just can't even begin to express how unfair this all feels. It makes me crazy. I just want to beat the shit out of someone. I want to make them feel as much physical pain as I feel emotional pain. I want take their loved ones and lock them away in jail. I want to ruin their lives. Whoever the hell they are. Bunch of fucking faceless cowards who never have to look us in the eye as they're fucking us over.

Everyone keeps saying that we are lucky that the GS wasn't beaten up by the police. We're lucky that they are taking every precaution to protect his rights. We're lucky that he's not in Hwaseong where the facilities are really bad, the guards are pricks and the rooms are freezing. We're lucky because he has access to phone twice a day. Well, pardon if me if I cynically add that you are right, the gods are really smiling on us now. We are lucky.

I'll be going to Cheongju on Friday night so I can make visiting hours Saturday morning. I guess I'm also lucky that I'll get to see my partner through 6 inch glass one last time before he gets deported.