Korean Dysfunctional Season Disorder

Last year I had this feeling too. Like I vaguely knew that the holidays were upon us, though I couldn't tell you exactly when they would appear. This year, I missed Halloween completely (yes, I was totally oblivious) and I have only discovered that this week- Thursday -is Thanksgiving from an email I received from a friend inviting me to their dinner, if only I could access some sort of free magical teleporter. In a vain attempt to keep track of American holidays, I had written Thanksgiving onto my living room calendar so that my Korean roommates would know why I was depressed that day and why I had cooked an inordinate amount of food. But, I actually wrote it on a Tuesday, the week after Thanksgiving. I mean, I guess in reality, we can be thankful any old day, but this just seemed to reinforce the fact that I am a lost American adrift in a sea of Koreans.

For the first time in my live abroad life, I have no American friends. I have no point of connection for Western holidays. Yay, for immersion, but BOO for feeling totally out of it. I noticed this week as I strolled through Myeong Dong that they were putting up Christmas lights on all of the major department stores (tastefully, I might add, but I think it was only the beginning) and in the cheaper market areas of NamDaeMun and Dongdaemun, tacky santa claus stores have appeared. But this means nothing to me because right next to santa claus, you can buy halloween masks. To make matters even more confusing, Fall has only reached Seoul in the last two weeks, and some of the Ginkos and Sycamores are still green; the Japanese Maples are green, burgundany and brilliant red all at the same time. Sure, I've started wearing a coat outdoors, but this has more do with keeping up with Seoul fashion than it does the weather.

And this morning I read my mom's blog about her feeling all scroogey about the commercialization of Christmas. Well, mom, don't come to Seoul now because Christmas is only here for commercial purposes. In Korea, Christmas is a "romantic-style couple day" when lovers buy each other things they don't need (and in my estimation are pretty ugly), and stroll hand in hand by Cheon Gye Cheon , a newly gentrified (in Seoul Metro Government speak "restored") area that during this time of year is chock full of hyperchristmas spirit. And everyone wears those stupid pink dog face hats that they got for free with their purchase of a baskin robbins ice cream cake, which for some reason, despite the cold weather, also becomes very popular this time of year (maybe it's the free hats and earmuffs?)

To make matters worse, I know that this year for the first time in what seems like my whole adult life, my family has actually planned a big Christmas celebration at my mother's home. I searched desperately for a plane ticket, but the cheapest one I found cost $1,800 before taxes and I would have to miss 3 days of my very expensive Korean class, which I absolutely cannot afford to fail (I mean literally I can't because then I would lose my visa and would have wasted all that money).

Anyway, lately my life feels like I'm in "Lost in Translation" except that there is no Bill Murray character. Imagine that movie without Bill Murray; it's not nearly as fun or interesting, right?

Did I mention that it actually snowed here a few weeks ago?

Goddammit, I wish that Magnolia tree right outside my house would just drop its leaves (which are still mostly brilliant green) so we could get on with winter. Then maybe everything would feel normal.