the christmas that wasn't and the quiz that was spawned as a result

Perhaps this year was the loneliest and most disappointing Christmas I have yet to experience. While my family was busy having a top of the charts holiday, I was stuck here in South Korea with an Islamic boyfriend who has never celebrated Christmas before and wasn't aware that it was important to me, and a couple of well intentioned but equally clueless Korean guy pals. Only now do I realize that I have to tell everyone what is important to me because I'm from a different place and they just don't know. So I guess I blew that one.

On the up side, at least my family did call me this year, thanks to the power of free internet calling and I did receive several international text messages from friends scattered throughout the world, and one of my best pals back home has been trying to get in touch with me for like three days... So hey, I know you guys tried and I thank you for it. And I apologize for being such a schmuck and not even trying to get in touch with any of you... Hopefully you can appreciate my situation.

God, I sound like such a jerk and it's about to get worse. Here's a confessional of a shitty girlfriend thing to do:

I was feeling bad about Christmas. And I was wondering how far apart my expectations were from the GS's in terms of relationship roles, what's important to us, etc. So I last night I gave him a pop quiz. In front of our other two single guy roommates. Yes, I took out my frustration on all of them.

1. What kind of gift would I like to get?
my kiss.
Well, that's very sweet but wrong. Now I'm not saying I want something expensive, but well, I do want something...

2.What's a good date activity?
A long drive with me.
Well, I have to give him points for listening because as we were walking through the markets on Christmas Day, and I did express the desire to get in a car and drive until we felt like stopping. But we have no car and we have no license so it's just not possible. Any other ideas? Uhhhh.....

3.What time should a boyfriend come home?
by 8:30 pm
A more than acceptable answer considering we both work in the evenings...

4. True or False: It is okay to be drunk when you arrive home.
False.
Good answer.

5. Which holidays are important?
New Year's and Sundays.
Um, birthdays? Christmas? Thanksgiving. We're talking about me, too, Mr. GS.

6. True or False: A boyfriend must always tell the truth.
True.
Now, this is not a transgression that the GS is guilty of, but we have a friend who is quite guilty of lying to his better half over the most ridiculous things, so you know... Well, I had to ask.

7. What are the appropriate gift-giving holidays?
Love and some thing special.
Well, sweet again, but not quite right. I was looking for birthday and Christmas.

8. When should you compliment your woman?
Every morning, evening and night.
Okay, I'll take that.

9. True or False: It is a woman's duty to clean and take care of children.
True.
No hesitation. No, "well, what do you mean by that?" And so serious conversation ensued. Don't worry mom and sister, in the end he said it is our responsibility to share duties and the person who is home more should clean more and if we aren't home we have to divide the roles. And about the child thing, well there is a lot more talking to do before there's any bun in this oven.

10. Do you love me?
yes.

So I know this was a kind of silly thing to do, but really it was helpful because even I didn't know I cared so much about receiving a present until I didn't get one. And because we are from completely different worlds, I guess we have to really tell each other what is important because we just don't know. I was just hoping that we would understand me without having to spell it all out, but I guess that's a stupid thing to think. Except that a lot of those things would be kind of automatic to an American, so you know, I don't know.

The GS really is a good sport, participated, endured my criticism and still loves me even though I'm kind of crazy... And he seems to know that I can dish it, but I can't take it so he's always easy on me... guess I'm lucky about that...