Saturday, April 21, 2007

reflections on a day when the pollution is so bad, you can't leave your house

I remember how when I first came to Korea, I was filled with such an excitement, a sense of awe and wonder at every new cultural discovery, new friendship forged, obstacle overcome. The smallest bit of understanding gave me the greatest feeling of achievement, while minor misunderstandings would lead to tears of frustration for not being able to express myself in Korean. The first year I was here, just leaving my house was an adventure and a challenge, and I always felt rewarded for striking out into unknown territory.

So what happened in the year since? Well, frankly I have grown bored with Seoul, feeling it all at once an entirely predictable city and city full of madness. The culture differences I relished in noticing at first, I now find annoying. Eating rice everyday for every meal now feels oppressive, like the pollution that hangs in the air and infests your lungs. In short, in enduring the long commutes everyday, answering to bosses who act like dictators, pushing my way through crowded shopping areas and trying to learn how to use the backdoor when you want something rather than stating it directly (including saying yes when there is no way in hell you'd ever do it) have worn me down and made me weary.

I just don't like living here anymore. The adventure is over. It's real life now. And frankly, the quality of life here sucks. This is live to work culture. And my life simply. can't. be. work.

I am ready for a slower paced society. With less uptight people. And more trees. And less pollution. And shorter working hours. But with the same high quality, cheap public transportation. Any ideas, people?

p.s. Just so you don't get any ideas:
Dear family, I am staying here for 10 more months and was just informed about how shitty my "summer vacation" is, so I won't be able to get back for a visit until this stinkin job is over. God, Korea really gets on my tits sometimes.

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